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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Monadnock Guide Posted - July 12 2010 : 10:24:18 AM
A Friendly Rivalry

The Australians and the New Zealanders or Kiwis, as they are popularly called have long had a friendly rivalry, a rivalry that makes it into their humor. In todays installment, I share a joke told from the Kiwi perspective. Next week, Ill give the Aussies a turn

A Kiwi ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the local, G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?

Villager: The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.

Ventriloquist: Hello dog, how's it going, mate?

Dog: Yeah, doin' all right.

Aussie (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: Is this villager your owner? (pointing at the villager)

Dog: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Dog: Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake now and again to play.

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Aussie: Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.

Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: Cool.

Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Aussie (in a panic): The sheep's a compulsive liar.

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