"Charred Ruin Of A Board"

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Posted by Rich on March 31, 1998 at 16:47:01:

What can I say? Where can I start? My wife of 18 years has run amuck! She is no more! If you think this Board is bad, wait till you see what her perverse little mind has come up with for our next weekly update! It's a disgrace! (Well, if you look REALLY deep, there is a LOTM connection in this depraved, thorazine-immune, barrage of postureless posts! I think ...) Once I had this dream (after years of walking in circles, of course) of building this fantastic Web Site where everything you could ever want to know about my favorite movie could be found in one place .... from its origins as real-life history through its transformation into a fictionalized narrative by Cooper and on to its various silver screen variations ... and then from which all its branches could be explored. I figured if I put my heart & soul into it, people, like you, would respond. So, a Bulletin Board was put in place so that you could easily do so. At this time, my little, petite, sweet 5'2, 105 lb wife was being her usual sensitive, submissive self. Then, it happened. She found a 20 year old hit of acid & dropped it! (That's the ONLY thing I can figure!) Though still only 5'2' & 105 frail pounds, she is an OGRE! She is Hercules unchained! The cage I lovingly kept her in to keep her from harm's way has been gnawed on, shattered, smashed to smithereens. Much like my beloved Board. Yes, I've come home from my chores (let's see, we only lost 5,897 letters today, delayed a mere 102,789 more, crushed a few score "Fragile" boxes ... hmmm ... to my KNOWLEDGE, we shot nary a soul this day!) to find the Board in devastion. Poor Mighty Mohican Mama. How must SHE feel, her pleading post totally ignored. She could see this coming before I. Now what do I DO? The Zany One is out of control. I've already dispatched the 7 fiercest Hurons, and they all came back bowlegged & shamed. It seems a lost cause. Whatever good I do, The Zany One will tear down. Those of you watching this silently, from afar, PLEASE keep in mind, that this REALLY IS a Last of The Mohicans Web Site!! Help me BRING IT BACK!!

PS - In truth, the "Pot Stirrer" is NOT Elaine. Not sure who (maybe Carol? Rebecca? Gayle?), but it really isn't The Zany One.

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