Posted by Someone Who Cares on April 07, 1998 at 09:46:32:
Picture the following scenario.
Bill and Rich die. They ascend to Heaven and are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. St. Peter looks at the two scoundrels standing before him and sadly shakes his head. He finally speaks.
" Both of you have exhibited poor behavior. You turned the Mohican WWW board into a cat fight. For this act alone you will be denied admission to Heaven. I sentence the two of you to eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell!"
Bill and Rich are shocked. Bill starts to argue with St. Peter.
"Silence!" bellows St. Peter. He is furious. How dare these two question HIS judgement. He decides he is going to increase their punishment. He looks at Bill.
"Not only are you sentenced to eternal hell, but you must be chained to this woman for eternity." St. Peter gestures behind Bill's back.
Bill turns around. He recoils at the site of the most grotesque female he has ever laid eyes on. He turns to face St. Peter. Bill can't believe what he sees. Rich is chained to the beautiful Madeleine Stowe!!!!
"Now wait a minute," Bill says, "How come Rich gets the beautiful babe and I get this freak of nature?"
St. Peter looks at the two couples standing before him.
"Madeleine made horrible movies after LOTM. Rich is HER punishment!!!!!!!"
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