Re: Letter to the Courier Editors

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Posted by Courier Editors on August 20, 1998 at 13:01:35:

In Reply to: Letter to the Courier Editors posted by Dutch Trader on August 20, 1998 at 04:41:55:

: Dear Editors,

: It has been brought to my attention that rumours incriminate me in the case of the sorry state Hawkeye was found in recently. At present I am unable to effectively defend myself, since my hands are tied in this ridiculous "trade war", through no fault of my own, I would like to stress.

: Before you allow yourselves to be led astray, I would like to point out to you there are newer and potentially more dangerous rumours around than that of this harmless practical joke. Indeed, it is said that the above mentioned Hawkeye is a two-timing bigamist with questionable taste in women. It is even whispered that he would be sole responsible for the death of the unfortunate Alice, and indirectly for his brother's sad ending too. I need not say how disruptive these rumours can be to the fragile balance between the different fractions in Mohicanland.

: Would not the Courier's valuable time be better spent investigating this? The truth is out there.

: With the highest regard,
: The Dutch Trader

Dear Dutch Trader (DT),

Thank you for your concern regarding the sleazy scandals currently playing out in Mohicanland. We don't know if you, along with E. Lane, are guilty of any wrongdoing in bringing Hawkeye to such a pathetic state. All we know is that he was found plastered along the Mohawk River, and that you and your criminal trade partner were seen in Can-tuck-ee at One-Eyed-William's Tavern ... loading
suspicious sacks (including one that wiggled). Our journalistic duty demands we at least investigate these allegations.

As for the bigamist scout ... yes, we are actively, aggressively investigating that as well. He'll be one lucky woodsman if he escapes this ugly mess unscathed. Between his Gnadenhutten Delaware, Cora, She-etc., he best watch his tracks real carefully.
And the deaths of Alice and Uncas to boot! We will surely be tracking the Hawkeye Saga.

Thank you for your thoughts,

The Courier Editors

PS We heard the trade wars still rage.

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: : Dear Editors,

: : It has been brought to my attention that rumours incriminate me in the case of the sorry state Hawkeye was found in recently. At present I am unable to effectively defend myself, since my hands are tied in this ridiculous "trade war", through no fault of my own, I would like to stress.

: : Before you allow yourselves to be led astray, I would like to point out to you there are newer and potentially more dangerous rumours around than that of this harmless practical joke. Indeed, it is said that the above mentioned Hawkeye is a two-timing bigamist with questionable taste in women. It is even whispered that he would be sole responsible for the death of the unfortunate Alice, and indirectly for his brother's sad ending too. I need not say how disruptive these rumours can be to the fragile balance between the different fractions in Mohicanland.

: : Would not the Courier's valuable time be better spent investigating this? The truth is out there.

: : With the highest regard,
: : The Dutch Trader

: Dear Dutch Trader (DT),

: Thank you for your concern regarding the sleazy scandals currently playing out in Mohicanland. We don't know if you, along with E. Lane, are guilty of any wrongdoing in bringing Hawkeye to such a pathetic state. All we know is that he was found plastered along the Mohawk River, and that you and your criminal trade partner were seen in Can-tuck-ee at One-Eyed-William's Tavern ... loading
: suspicious sacks (including one that wiggled). Our journalistic duty demands we at least investigate these allegations.

: As for the bigamist scout ... yes, we are actively, aggressively investigating that as well. He'll be one lucky woodsman if he escapes this ugly mess unscathed. Between his Gnadenhutten Delaware, Cora, She-etc., he best watch his tracks real carefully.
: And the deaths of Alice and Uncas to boot! We will surely be tracking the Hawkeye Saga.

: Thank you for your thoughts,

: The Courier Editors

: PS We heard the trade wars still rage.

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