Report to Courier Editors on JFC Fast Foods

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Posted by She, etc. on August 25, 1998 at 08:26:47:

Dear Courier Editors,

Before heading back to York after the recent emotionally exhausting assignment on The Siege, I decided to check out the new Dutch eating establishment mentionned in your Sunday edition. I want you to know, I was tremendously impressed with these folks. I ordered their Quick-Pick-Me-Up Roast Venison Dinner, and settled down for a quiet mug of spruce while I waited. Although there was, for a few minutes, an unexplained flurry of stamping feet and banging doors back in the kitchen area, in less than fifteen minutes I was served an excellent venison steak with mashed potatoes, gravy, several tender and beautifully prepared vegetables and a fine cherry cobbler for dessert. I was particularly amazed to find it all served on the finest Delft china. I didn't realize this was such a high class place. However, upon looking around at the tables of the other diners, I saw everything from English bone china to handcarved wooden trenchers and that wonderful unbreakable Micmac dinnerware. All patrons seemed to be satisfied with the food and the service, however.

Upon getting ready to leave, I decided to order a Take-Out, since I expected to be long on the trail and not sure of the game between here and York. I ordered the Quick-Fix Chicken, and in less time than it takes to fall off my horse, I was handed a leathern pouch containing my order, and I started off up the trail. Now we get into the strange part. About sundown, I decided to stop and stoke up the ol' furnace, and upon opening my sack, what should I find but a rubber chicken and two gravy soaked tennis balls! Not having time to return, I made do, the chicken being reasonably edible when combined with a liberal tot of rum, howsever. What great jokers these Dutch dudes are!

She-Who-Tracks-La Longue Carabine

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