New Publication On The Block? Not A Chance ...

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Posted by THE COURIER EDITORS on September 23, 1998 at 11:07:15:

In Reply to: Re: New Publication Announced posted by Mohicanland Morning Star Editors on September 23, 1998 at 09:05:52:

: Respected Three Little Piggies Productions,

: Please allow us to introduce ourselves. We are the editors of the new weekly paper in Mohicanland, the Mohicanland Morning Star. The Morning Star has been founded by Mohicanland's honorable Trading Quartet, the Canadian, French and Dutch Trader and E. Lane, to counter the one-sided "journalism" and outright lies practiced in that sewer pipe, the Courier. Mohicanland Morning Star will dedicate itself to truth and honesty. I am sure the Three Little Piggies Productions will welcome this healthy competition in the media sector. After all, it is not too long ago you yourselves were viciously dragged through the mud by this so-called "newspaper".

: We are very interested in the above mentioned publication and would welcome the opportunity to review it in our first issue. Possibly we could publish some excerpts? Additionally, in our very first and festive issue, we will give you one page to advertise your upcoming publication, at no cost at all.

: Thank you for considering us.
: With the highest regard,
: The Mohicanland Morning Star Editors

Dear Sirs;

Perhaps you have wandered into the wrong colony? Mohicanland Morning Star Editors? HA!! Burning a little too much midnight oil, we'd say. You think yellow 'journalists' such as yourself will be able to compete or hurt THE COURIER? Not on your life (that is meant literally). In case you upstart Traders turned Typists really believe you can make such a move and live to tell about it, let us remind you of one simple fact ... we are the Editors of The Courier!!!! That means something around here, bubs (or bubbas, or bubbettes - whatever the case may be)!

You would do well to ponder the many deceased interlopers in Mohicanland who hauled their sorry schemes into our colony. In fact, dear Dutch Traitor, it is we who gave you your start here. Do not bite the hand that has fed you, sis. And ... we have Dr. Mary in our camp!

You have 24 hours to retract your offer, resume your merchants profession, and bring us our tea.

Sincerely and most earnestly,
The renowned, reputable, highly admired, immensely respected, widely read, oft praised, frequently envied, and very POWERFUL
Courier Editors

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