Re: New Publication Announced

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Posted by Doctor Mary on September 23, 1998 at 13:38:33:

In Reply to: Re: New Publication Announced posted by Courier Editors on September 23, 1998 at 08:38:32:

: : Three Little Piggies Productions is proud to announce the upcoming publication of a series of articles on surviving in the wilderness written by our own Nathaniel Poe. After the deaths of his brother Uncas and Alice Munro, and seeing how woefully incompetant his true love Cora was in the wilderness, Mr. Poe felt it was his duty to pass on his knowledge of woodlore and survival skills in hopes that further disasters could be averted. Finding the before-mentioned deaths most difficult to bear, Mr. Poe has been living quietly with Jo, Carol and Chris while writing these articles. He has been teaching them wilderness survival skills, and in return, they are providing him with bed, board and other entertainments.

: Dear Three Little Piggies,

: Thank you for the scoop on these upcoming publications. We would be interested in running them in The Courier (provided they are accurate, clean, not forged, and are keeping with the high journalistic standards of The Courier). Does Mr. Poe take precautions in these articles to prevent novice woodswomen like Miss Cora Munro from shooting their rivals (accidentally, of course) or innocent passerby mares?

: Does Mr. Poe discuss the death of his brother Uncas? Or does he provide an inside look at the mental instability of Miss Alice Munro? (We've heard the Colonial Psychiatric Association has adopted Miss Alice as their poster girl for the upcoming 1757 edition of the Quack Almanac and provide an in-depth look at how
: mental frailty leads to tragic consequences in this edition.) Does Mr. Poe discuss his many *issues*?

: While Mr. Poe is holed up in the safety of the Three Little Piggies' pen, what entertainments are you providing? Readers would definitely want to know. And have you called Dr. Mary yet?

: Sincerely,

: The Courier Editors

Oh, Doctor Mary is so so terribly sorry to break this to the
Three Little Piggies, but it is her duty to root out and
abolish Mass Delusions wherever they might occur, no matter
how long it takes! Luckily, she has gotten here in time.
My dears, you are not entertaining Master Nathaniel Poe,
hunter, woodsman extraordinaire, and possessor of the Best
Male Tush in the Uncivilized Universe...nay, you are playing
loincloth whoopsie with his long-lost second cousin twice-
removed Edgar Allan! Haven't you noticed he's a trifle
gloomy at times, and tends to hit the old home brew pretty
heavily? Does he scream "Nevermore!" at highly inappropriate
moments? (Something MY buckskin boo-boo would NEVER presume
to do!) Sorry to have to bust yer bubble, babes -- the real
Mr. Nat is still happily vacationing at Chez Dr. Mary, and
will be trapped over the Fall, thank yew SEW much!!!!

Dr. Mary

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