Re: New Publication On The Block? Not A Chance ...

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Posted by Morning Star Editors on September 23, 1998 at 15:02:24:

In Reply to: New Publication On The Block? Not A Chance ... posted by THE COURIER EDITORS on September 23, 1998 at 11:07:15:

: Dear Sirs;

: Perhaps you have wandered into the wrong colony? Mohicanland Morning Star Editors? HA!! Burning a little too much midnight oil, we'd say. You think yellow 'journalists' such as yourself will be able to compete or hurt THE COURIER? Not on your life (that is meant literally). In case you upstart Traders turned Typists really believe you can make such a move and live to tell about it, let us remind you of one simple fact ... we are the Editors of The Courier!!!! That means something around here, bubs (or bubbas, or bubbettes - whatever the case may be)!

: You would do well to ponder the many deceased interlopers in Mohicanland who hauled their sorry schemes into our colony. In fact, dear Dutch Traitor, it is we who gave you your start here. Do not bite the hand that has fed you, sis. And ... we have Dr. Mary in our camp!

: You have 24 hours to retract your offer, resume your merchants profession, and bring us our tea.

: Sincerely and most earnestly,
: The renowned, reputable, highly admired, immensely respected, widely read, oft praised, frequently envied, and very POWERFUL
: Courier Editors

Dear Courier Editors,

Obviously, it is these kind of bully tactics that you are resorting to here, that has left Mohicanland in dire need of some conscientious journalism. And that is exactly what we will provide the citizens with. Being Courier Editors means something around here? Yes, it means terror, horror, slander, character murder, and other sickening symptoms of gutter journalism. Even your star reporter She etc. seems to hide from you these days. All the news that's fit to print... and then some, you claim. Of course it is the "then some" which is the core of your reporting. We of the Morning Star are here to stay and will prove that integrity and massmedia are not always opposite.

On a different note, Our board of directors (well-known to you and all coming from an ancient trading bloodline) let you know that a swift and discrete retreat is always negotiable; under conditions and for the right price of course. This will cost you... And stop whining about your tea!

The Mohicanland Morning Star Editors

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