Posted by GnomeDome on August 24, 2000 at 15:23:24:
In Reply to: Re: Woohoo!GuessWho ...Message to Gnomie posted by Doc M on August 24, 2000 at 12:32:46:
: : :
: : : And PLEASE Miss PaddleTALE, get plenty of rest and liquids so you can recover completely, quickly and rejoin us! Anything we can send you? Do ducks do chicken soup? What DO ducks do when sick for liquids?
: : : GnomeDome
: : *cough, cough...hack,hack,hack, quarkle!*
: : My Dear Mr. Gnomeling, Sir,
: : I answered this question a few minutes ago, but it seems to have been swallowed up by a duplicate post from someone named Doc M. *SQUAWK! This is where I should scream about the sky falling, and the world coming to an end, but I'm just too pathetic today to even try to be hysterical!*
: : So...I shall TRY, feebly, to repeat my previous response. *ahem*
: : I hate to tell you this, Gnomie, but...ahh...ummmmm...my Ol' Mohican Granny, Squawksalot, used to swear by a broth made of the well-stewed carcass of a wee, tiny man under the height of say, 3' or so. She insisted it would cure the common cold, in-flooo-inza, rheumatiz, consumption, liver ailments and chilblains, plus it made a dandy soak for tired, aching webfeet.
: : Now, myself, *quack, quack*, being a farm-raised duck, prefer my liquids in the form of corn squeezin's, if'n ye get my drift. Pity, though...I'm fresh out! *feeble cough* Ye wouldn't by any chance be able to rustle up some for a pore, sick duckie, wouldja? I'd hate to have to resort to Granny Squawksalot's recipe, ya know. Mebbe you could get back to me on that? *cough, cough*
: : In the meantime, I'll just sit on this recipe for Broth O'Shorty. I wouldn't want it to *accidentally* blow out my nestbox window, and end up in the hands of someone less scrooopulous than I. *quackquack...cough, hack...quack!*
: : Yours VERY Feebly and THIRSTily,
: : Miss Paddletale
: Oh, don't get yer pintails in a knot, Miss Paddletale...
: or should I say Miss PaddleWAIL! As a matter of fact,
: your old Granny got her receipt thanks to MY old
: Granny -- did yours happen to migrate over Salem
: at some point? Anyway, fresh from the cauldron,
: here's my Granny's receipt for her special GnomieGruel --
: Take yer Gnomie
: Fresh and plump't
: Into yer large
: Cauldron dump't,
: Bile and straine
: And lette coole
: Skim fatte, reheate
: That's Gnomie Gruele!
: If yer achin'
: If yer wailin'
: If yer little
: Body's achin'
: Pull ye up a
: Little stoole
: An' have yerself
: Some Gnomie Gruele!!
: Doc M
Hmmmmmmm.......didn't we go through this just a little while ago?
Okay, let me repeat then..........:
"on the sayings of Doc Mary
The facts prove quite contrary
this gnome butter does not exist
though the slattern doth insist
were you to take this slut's advice
and on your butt smear goop
you'd probably come up with lice
instead of butts without droop.
She's playing you all for fools
When she tells of her gnome butter
Nor do we make a very good gruel
Just another lie that she has utter'd
There's nothing called Gnome-gruel
we run much, much too quickly
for such a scheming, lying ghoul
who's thighs are made so thickly
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