HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!

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Posted by Miss Marcia on August 30, 2000 at 19:37:42:

*pant, pant, puff, puff!*

"Ohmigosh! *pant, pant* Can't...run...pant, pant....much longer! Must...stop...pant, pant. Is it still behind me? I can't see for this apron tied around my head with the strings a-flappin', and this humongous white wench blouse trippin' me up every which way, an' this sticky hot honey poultice drippin' down my face an' all...but it seems kinda quiet back there. Maybe that dagnab bear gave up...?....pant, pant...heart slowin' down...wheew! Gotta catch my breath..."

*SNAP!*

"URK!! What was that snap? That ominous crackle??? Something's running this way...gotta get up off the ground & make another escape...huff, puff..."

*CRASH!*

"YIIIIIIIIIIIIKES!!! What the heck is THAT little white drippy thing with a shower cap on its head & flip-flops on its feet???? Good lord, it's...it's...MISS PADDLETALE??? Calm down, Paddletale, calm down...what's that your screamin' about? A MONSTER?? A Flappy White MONSTER and...a BEAR??? OH, NO! The bear's still comin' then?? Quick, Miss P, run for your life!! Follow MEEEEEEEEEEEE..."

*races out of bushes and runs headlong into group of hystercial children, all screaming and running in circles*

Miss Marcia: "SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!"
Miss Paddletale: "QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!"
Children: "ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH, SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM, AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Miss Gaylee: *Swoon...THUD!*

EVERYBODY: *CRASH, BONK!!*

*silence falls over clearing. Dust settles. Children whimper for their mommas. Miss Marcia is gently (?) slapping Miss Gaylee's cheeks to revive her. Miss Paddletale is blue in the beak, and quacking not one quack. Loud crashing noises in the underbrush appear to be growing farther and farther away.*

"Miss Gaylee, Miss Gaylee...wake up. I think the bear has run away, and your children need you...wake up, Dear."

*Miss Gayle opens one eye...sees the dripping, flapping, apparition in front of her, all covered with bits of leaves & twigs, ooozing honey from every surface, and promptly faints dead away again.*

"Oh, Dear...she's out like a light, and Miss Paddletale is flat on her back with her little webbed toes pointing skyward, too...it's just ME here with all these little ones, sobbing & sniffling around me...oh,my...Lawsy, Lawsy, I don't know NUTHIN' 'bout comfortin' no babies!!! Only one solution comes to mind..."

*takes deep breath*

"BEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! BENTON TWIIIIIIIGG!!! Your woman NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS you!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!"


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