Posted by Christina on September 05, 2000 at 19:44:58:
In Reply to: Re: Adele is having a BAAAADD day......... posted by Jeri on September 05, 2000 at 11:30:13:
: : To whom it may concern:
: : -----------------------
: : Mohicanland resident, Adele, is having a truly rotten day. Normally of a sunny and cheerful disposition, she is in danger of misplacing her sense of humour entirely, and metamorpha ..... metamorphis ..... metamor ..... changing (a la Dr Jeckyll) into a rather unpleasant blob of rage. This could result into some serious maiming, butt-kicking, gnome-baiting or other outbursts of aggression, and I fear that innocent bystanders may be caught in the crossfire. 'Huggy Power' just ain't gonna stop it this time, she needs some seriously raucous laughter to cut this baby off at the pass.
: : Please provide, at your earliest convenience, one chuckle-making post to cheer her up before this humour bypass becomes permanent.
: : Think of her family, think of her friends.........think of her poor, poor, husband......
: : Thank you
: : Huggy Merchant
: Hi Adele,
: Hope this helps:
: A WOMAN'S PRAYER
: Dear Lord...
: So far today, I am doing all right.
: I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy nasty, selfish or self indulgent.
: I have not whined, bitched, cursed, or eaten any chocolate
: I have not charged on my credit card.
: However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that.
Adele...so sorry you are having one of THOSE days. In the journalism profession, I can tell you, we have many many many of them. Which mainly comes from peabrained pinheaded types in bad ties and rumpled ill-fitting khakis descending upon you with LAME IDEAS and then expecting you to CREATE on demand in a certain amount of time WORDS which morph to their pitiful little ideas....
but I digress...
let me bestow upon you some humorous little sayings which have kept me laughing even on days when half of me wanted to start giving everyone around me the Magua heart-removal treatment...
I have PMS and a handgun...any questions?
I've got a crate of uzis and a case of Scotch. Let's go to Disneyland!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
(for use on the freeway...) Keep honking. I'm reloading.
(for the males on this board...please do not interpret the following as sexist...it was developed for use when males cause heartache i.e. break ups,etc.) Grow your own dope. Plant a man.
(for use on the freeway when you see those annoying little "My kid is an honor student..." bumperstickers.) Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
Hope this helps!
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