Re: Sonuva... and Unexpected

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Posted by The Publisher for The REAL TowneCrier who's still on strike on September 12, 2000 at 11:27:54:

In Reply to: Sonuva... posted by Doc M on September 12, 2000 at 10:28:34:

Dear Esteemed Doc M!

I am sooooooo sorry that that DARN SCAB FAKE TOWNECRIER is making a mess out of ringing LOTM's News Bell!!!!!
Well, that's what happens when you hire a scab!!!!!!!
And of course, the REAL YeOldeTowneCrier is soooooooooooo sad about it .... she feels her cherished (however unpaid) job is being sullied by this no-goodnik who does not know a bell from his elbow.
By the way, for those who are interested in reading about union management relations, we do have a block-buster novel, with plenty great reviews.... however, we shall not yet post the link!

Oh, also, soon there will be daily reports on the woes of being a Publisher.... the torments we suffer just because we are devoted to bringing quality literature to deserving audiences... TGAT Lainey and Vita and Bea will share with you the pitfalls, the gasps, the shocks, the moans, the groans, the explosions, the floor full of hair torn out of the scalps, time lost spinning their wheels, and monies flying straight out the window in a big hurry, never to return... and all this with these 3 ladies doing everything right (Scout's honor!) and the printers screwing everything up!!!!!
Oh, what a tale of woe they have to tell! You shall never again need to watch a Soap Opera! The Print/Publish Opera outranks it all in tragi/comic entertainment!
But that is later.
For now, dear Doc M., since you want to read something interesting, below is the link for a rip-roaring, sexy and fun novel to be published in about 2 weeks by The Rose....
Check it out and (SOFT SELL) PLACE YOUR ADVANCE ORDERS. This time, definitely no bastinado, if you don't.

Yours truly (and smirking beneath a hand cupped on the mouth)
The Publisher

What the HELL is going on here??? I step outside this morning
: carefully dragging my intervenous hookup of black coffee
: behind me, kicking aside the usual thimble of poo left
: by the door, and a &*^%)**ing TOMAHAWK whizzes by my
: *&^%##@ing nose and damn near parts my ^%$#ing hair
: on the wrong &^%$*ing SIDE! DOC M DOES NOT ALLOW, REPEAT.
: DOES NOT ALLOW BAD HAIR DAYS!! NONE!! *stomp! stomp! stomp!*
: Then I hear a lot of yelling and rock-throwing by Bumppo's
: and I see that Sheriff B. Twigg has tried to hire a scab
: Town Crier...unfortunately he picked Dweebie Day-Lewis
: who can't manage to navigate the many dark and twisted
: sidetracks of Mohicanland, being blind as the proverbial
: bat. The poor thing keeps turning in a circle and banging
: into the side of the jail! Not to mention they had to come
: up with a substitute bell, and all they could find was an
: old bicycle horn. Therefore, all announcements made in
: Mohicanland are as follows: *HONK! THUD! OWW! HONK! THUD! OW!*
: And now the crowd is turning on ME! They're screaming
: wagon...and I mean that in every possible connotation!!! *hic!*
: Well, now that you're all standing around and paying attention
: to me, I just have one thing to say. Anybody have any
: suggestions on something good to read? I haven't been
: to the library in awhile and I could use...hey! Why is
: everybody picking up those rocks and sticks and rotten
: tomatoes??? Hey! Wait a minute!! Was it something I

: Doc M, running and pooting in a panic!

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