Re: help me

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Posted by Red-Haired Lass on September 12, 2000 at 21:03:34:

In Reply to: Re: help me posted by Doc M on September 12, 2000 at 11:51:09:

: : Jeri writes:
: : : "one feather shy of a warbonnet"...LOL! I gotta remember not to be having a late night munch (ala tea biscuit) when reading some of these posts. Just about choked this time and made one heck of mess of my lap top screen! Yuk! Love the breakfast menu, but geez, now you gotta KNOW what I'm gonna be thinking of the next time I watch the movie and it gets to the scenes at the Huron village? ((grins)).

: : : ..Jeri (trying to figure out how to clean this !*!* screen)

: : Dear Jeri

: : I, Heloise of the Hurons, am here to offer you help and guidance in the way of cleaning tips. Mohicanland is a dirty place, sartain, and we goodwives are always in need of hints to make our lives a bit easier. For the occasional dirty bit of glass here or there, well splattered with dried on tea biscuits, I suggest you head for the river! Find someone who's got nothing better to do on the lake today, & have them build a fire & bring buckets of water. Get out your handy-dandy bar of Grandma's LyeSoap, & begin scrubbing with a well-worn bit of soft leather...don't even ASK where to get that! A LOINCLOTH discussion is NOT something Miss Heloise wishes to be involved in. If you find that the dirt on the aforementioned piece of glass is NOT coming off, you must grab an empty bucket, and move on. Go TWO LEAGUES...BETTER WATER!

: : That should about do it! Tune in tomorrow when Miss Heloise will be discussing the proper way to re-wattle a hut.

: : Hearty Hugs,
: : Heloise

: Dear Mme. Heloise:

: I DEW hope you can help kindly old Doc M with some
: vexing household problems that she is unable to
: deal with...yes, she has, in the psychobabble
: phraseology of the day, CLEANING ISSUES!! I tried
: that Goodwife Stewart person...a fat lot of good
: SHE was. She kept running around gilding the
: pinecones and vacuuming the chickens. Had to
: throw her butt to the Hurons. It was a good thing.
: Anyhoo, Doc M needs some advice in cleaning her
: boudoir, otherwise known around the Clinic as
: The Rumpus Room. The mirror on the ceiling
: is all fogged up -- could it be evaporation from
: the heat and massage units on the waterbed? Also,
: is there anything I can wrap around the trapeze
: bar to keep the walls from getting all scuffed up?
: And the handcuffs -- they need a good polishing.
: What can I use to get those suckers to really
: sparkle??? I remain, ever so nonhumbly,

: Doc M

: PS So Daner, what'samatter with being on the bottom?
: I myself have never had a problem with...oh never
: mind. Perhaps a letter to Doc M would be in order.
: I sense you need closure with your positioning issues.

Dearest Doc M,
In regards to your cleanin' issues, might I suggest some of Aunt Aggie's Super Scottish Miraculous Manacle Cleaner? Guaranteed to get yer hand-, leg- and any other cuff ye might have hidin' in yer boudoir shinin' like the crown jewels. Perfected and tested by some of Edinburgh's more....ummmm....creative goodwives. Just let me know...
yers in clean cuffs,

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