Re: help me - Dear Heloise...Help is On The Way!

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Posted by Heloise Of the Hurons on September 12, 2000 at 22:27:37:

In Reply to: Re: help me - Dear Heloise posted by Jeri on September 12, 2000 at 17:32:59:

Jeri writes:
: Relying on your obvious expertise, I procured a good sized bar of lye soap. However, finding that piece of well worn bit of soft
: leather was a little harder to accomplish. Seeing as how I live just a stone's throw from a very large lake, I hurried on down, glass tucked securely in my sachel, to see if I could obtain said leather from one of those visiting strangers that always seem to be there. Well, Heloise, imagine my surprise when I spotted a pile of clothing beside some rocks and amongst the clothing was a rather long piece of material! Rather strange piece of clothing I must say! Would this be one of these LOINCLOTHS everyone keeps talking about?? Well, there was a lot of splashing and singing going on down by the water so I hid as best I could in the tall reeds. I managed to grab one end of that long piece of material and used it and the lye soap to scrub that glass. Wonders of wonders! The glass just sparkled. Wonderful suggestion. I suddenly realized, however, that the splashing and singing had stopped so I skeedadled out of there. Now being a God fearing woman, I didn't look at the owner of the clothes as he left the water, but do admit to a quick peek and he seemed a fine figure of a man. Much to my horror when I returned home, I found that I had left that bar of soap by the lake. Probably dropped it in my haste to depart. Now seeing as lye soap is an absolute necessity for general cleaning duties, do you suppose dear Heloise, that I should return for the soap and perhaps find out just how that long article of clothing is worn?? I must admit to being powerfully curious.

: Your Grateful Friend...Jeri

My Dear Jeri...

What an ADVENTCHA! My, but you certainly paid close attention to Heloise's advice, didn't you? And now you have one sparkling shiny piece of glass, and a raging curiosity. But, in addition to my portfolio of Helpful Hints, I also have an UNCOMMON amount of very COMMON sense. And it tells me that a young lady such as yourself would do better to buy another bar of Grandma's LyeSoap, and forget sneakin' back down to that lake. After all, the loincloth in question has served its purpose and NO GOOD can come of you peeking and prying around in someone else's PRIVATE matters. (Oh, my, Heloise! You are SUCH a punster!) So you just hie thee on down to Mervin's Meretricious Mercantile & and procure your soap. If you need more advice on ways to handle your daily chores, contact me later...I'll be...ahhh...AWAY for some time this afternoon. I have some...ummm..chores to attend to. A few...err...important things I need to go take care of. But NOT down by the lake. No! Of course not! Uh-uh.

Hearty Hugs,
Heloise of the Hurons

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