Posted by Red-Haired Lass on September 14, 2000 at 22:21:09:
Greetins' to all of me Mohicanland friends...it bein' gettin' close to another Happy Hour I have a wee favor to humbly ask ye...
Mrs. O'Reilly has indicated she's mightily pleased with me work and me customer relation skills, especially me makin' the wayward trappers so at home. But in the past week or so our revenues have been way down and me tips have been way off. Now, Mrs. O'Reilly didn't threaten anythin' specific like, but her indication was that if things remain slow yer Wench might be left back to part time. Now, would ye really want that to happen? Haven't I lived up to yer needs? Haven't I slung ye squeezins' and Irish coffee an'Glenlivet, an brought ye shortbread an' haggis and me best squirrel fritters? Haven't I accepted all those chipmunk pelts with a smile on me face and gamely fought off the advances of men with glasses thicker'n the bottom of a jam jar? Haven't I smiled and kept on singin' them bawdy tunes even while fishin' little folks' skivvies out of me coffee water day after day? Ifn' there's somethin' lackin in yer Wench, please let me know. But please don't force me back to the poverty I was livin' in when I came amongst ye. Don't make me have to go back to Carolina and spend all day at Aunt Winnie's up to me elbows in the ingredients for Smooth Laddie Wax! I've got debts, me friends. I'm still payin' off the studente loane from the Wench Academie, an' if ye know them folks, they don't take payment in brandy nor wampum...do ye really want me to go beggin' to the kind folks at the House of Hoohaaaa to sell my...um...wares???? The Huron Delivery Boy has offered to sell some furs and silver to help me out, but I canna let meself be a kept wench. It's not fittin.' So won't ye tell me where I've failed, or else won't ye show tomorra and perhaps drop a coin into the tip flask?
I'll be wearin' my best blouse...
yers, Red