Posted by Eclair on September 18, 2000 at 07:50:40:
In Reply to: Re: A plea from yer loyal wench... posted by Yengeese Strumpet on September 17, 2000 at 15:30:13:
: : Greetins' to all of me Mohicanland friends...it bein' gettin' close to another Happy Hour I have a wee favor to humbly ask ye...
: : Mrs. O'Reilly has indicated she's mightily pleased with me work and me customer relation skills, especially me makin' the wayward trappers so at home. But in the past week or so our revenues have been way down and me tips have been way off. Now, Mrs. O'Reilly didn't threaten anythin' specific like, but her indication was that if things remain slow yer Wench might be left back to part time. Now, would ye really want that to happen? Haven't I lived up to yer needs? Haven't I slung ye squeezins' and Irish coffee an'Glenlivet, an brought ye shortbread an' haggis and me best squirrel fritters? Haven't I accepted all those chipmunk pelts with a smile on me face and gamely fought off the advances of men with glasses thicker'n the bottom of a jam jar? Haven't I smiled and kept on singin' them bawdy tunes even while fishin' little folks' skivvies out of me coffee water day after day? Ifn' there's somethin' lackin in yer Wench, please let me know. But please don't force me back to the poverty I was livin' in when I came amongst ye. Don't make me have to go back to Carolina and spend all day at Aunt Winnie's up to me elbows in the ingredients for Smooth Laddie Wax! I've got debts, me friends. I'm still payin' off the studente loane from the Wench Academie, an' if ye know them folks, they don't take payment in brandy nor wampum...do ye really want me to go beggin' to the kind folks at the House of Hoohaaaa to sell my...um...wares???? The Huron Delivery Boy has offered to sell some furs and silver to help me out, but I canna let meself be a kept wench. It's not fittin.' So won't ye tell me where I've failed, or else won't ye show tomorra and perhaps drop a coin into the tip flask?
: : I'll be wearin' my best blouse...
: : yers, Red
: Now, now Red - don't ye be worrying yourself. Trade is down this month, no doubting it.......a little Mohicanland slump in economy is all. Things will be picking up again shortly, I have no doubt. We, at the House of Hoo-Haa, have had to make cut backs too, we can only manage one delivery a week from the Huron Delivery Boy and we have also had to reduce our orders to Gadget Girl for our ...... er........gadgets. Worst of all, we have had to let the cleaning lady go......our lady-that-does, doesn't anymore. Instead, we are faced with the horrifying prospect of hiring Dweebie Day-Lewis as a temporary fill in. Not good, not good at all.
: So, dear Red, keep your chin up (and your hemline) and hang in there......once the traders are back in town, I am sure business will be booming again.
: Lucie, Yengeese Strumpet
Ma Chere cousine, you are very correct. Ze sings at ze Hoo-Haa House have been on ze slow side, oui, oui. Eclair has not been without ze projects, non. I have been doing ze sings domestique. You are surprised, ma chere? Eet ees only ze inspiration that is needed for Eclair. I have made ze breechclout, Lucie. I found ze pink very felt wool in my trunk and followed ze instuctions for se cutting. Ze trim, eet ees ze mink from ze muff of Eclair. No need for ze muff in MohicanLand, oui? Now Eclair has ze breechclout tres chic! For ze somesing to tie it up...hmmmm...I sink ze black ribbon left behind by ze pitiful soldier. Voila! Eclair ees ready for ze Huron delivery!
Ze traders are missed by Eclair, oui, but with the shortage of ze razor, there ees no shortage of ze mootache. Eclair ees only looking at ze side that ees bright.
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