Posted by Sassy Soothsayer on December 11, 2000 at 20:55:04:
In Reply to: Gather the Citizens! posted by Sheriff Bent Twigg on December 11, 2000 at 17:21:53:
: I know it's a cold and snowy night, folks, and ye're all cosy by the fireplaces and have the kiddies tucked in under their Miss Katie quilts for the night, but we've got work to do!
: I was just down to the river, and saw it's frozen over from bank to bank now - and guess what else I saw? She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine is acomin' home! She's pushin' her canoe over the ice with her paddle, and durned if that dog o' hers, Hector, isn't atowin' behind in his own canoe - lazy hound that he is!
: Looks like She has her canoe piled high with pelts and venison from the hunt, but with the river banks a sheet o' ice, She'll never get up alone.
: KNOCK KNOCK!! Miss Katie, gather up some warm quilts!
: KNOCK KNOCK!! Miss Marcia, cook up some o' that stew and biscuits ye do so well!
: KNOCK KNOCK!! Dr. Markus Well Bee, be gettin' some o' yer honey mead cough syrup bottled up and over to Bumppo's Tavern!
: KNOCK KNOCK!! Dweebie, throw some more wood on that fire behind the bar, and break out the rum toddy!
: KNOCK KNOCK!! Sassy Soothsayer, fly right to the Sachem and Sachemess and let 'em know we got a E-mergency at the river!
: Simon Girty and Uncle Wiscone, you and yer various Injuns head down to the river with me - we'll haul She and Hector and the takin's up off the ice, and then head on up to Bumppo's Tavern for a little warm-up and the story of the Fall Hunt. Look sharp, now! Don't go wanderin' away in the woods jest when I need ye!! Work TOGETHER, ye hear????!!!!!
Wheee, it is *I*, Sassy Soothsayer, zippin' around on my Purple Paisley carpet on this cold, icy night. 'course I got most of the carpet wrapped around my head & shoulders to keep from frizzin' right up in this weather, and that makes for a mighty small area for sittin', doncha know...but I'll manage. Just takin' a quick looksee down to the river. I understand Sheriff Twigg has spotted somethin' interestin' down thataway.
Lemme see here...yep, sure 'nuff. There's She Who Tracks, struggling along on the ice tryin' to push her canoe up the river, and there's that lazy ol' hound of hers, Hector, a-ridin' along behind in his own canoe. And dern if I don't see that IDJIT Dweebie out there slippin' & slidin' around on the ice "HELPIN'" out! Hee-heeeeeeeeee! He's UP, no...he's DOWN...wait, he's UP again! Whooops! *BLAM!* I don't believe I've ever seen anyone get themselves in quite that position before...legs & arms all tangledy up ever which way. Can't see his head anywhere, though...hmmmmmmmmmm....appears to be a crack in the ice, and...let me look closer...yep! His head's a-stickin' right down through the ice into the river. That dimwit's a-drownin', sartain! Reckon I better fly down a bit closer & lasso him...
"Come on, Dweebie...get up outta that hole." Geeze, wouldja lookit that? His whole blamed head is iced over! Better fly him straight on over to Bumppo's & leave the good Sheriff to help She Who Tracks get her canoe to the shore. Get up here on Ol' Purple, you great, gormley LUMP, you!
Bumppo's, here we come, Sassy & the Dweebcicle!!
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