Re: A Brief Discourse on Some of the Citizens of Mohicanland

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Posted by Christina/Red on December 15, 2000 at 21:44:53:

In Reply to: A Brief Discourse on Some of the Citizens of Mohicanland posted by MMMMarcia on December 15, 2000 at 18:55:13:

: In answer to some questions of late regarding the various characters living in the village known as Mohicanland...just let me say THIS about think you're confused NOW?? You ain't seen NUTHIN' yet!

: To the good Corporal and his allies in the Chronicles, think of "Mohicanland" as a similar fictional situation...only from an alternate universe! ;o) We started with a few characters who WERE linked to Cooper and/or LOTM, but they began to take on a life of their own, and strange friends and relatives began to appear in our quaint little community. Before we knew it, we had a pretty diverse assortment of folks living there. Mostly, our version of Mohicanland is strictly fun stuff, where we happily mix up the centuries and sensibilities with reckless abandon. But to help you sort it out a bit, here is a rundown on some of the characters.

: As Gayle posted earlier, She-Who-Tracks-la-Longue-Carabine is our resident female longhunter, always searching for her dream man (and mine), namely Hawkeye. She-Who-Tracks usually speaks in a Coopersian patois, and can frequently be found ruminatin' over Life's ironies whilst deliberatin' on the "gifts" of various other citizens in Mohicanland. (Some of these thoughts of She's will be more readily recognized by those who have actually read Cooper.)

: Hector the Hound is She's constant, faithful companion...a dog taken right from the writings of JFC, and made even more decrepit, smelly & old by his sojourn in Mohicanland.

: Sassy Soothsayer came about by accident when I (Mighty Mohican Mama REAL LIFE persona) was posting a tongue-in-cheek response to a thread about the absurdity of political correctness. (I believe we were discussing saving the famous three-toed icelandic amoeba at the time, and I posted a look into the future which pronounced that that very same amoeba had been elected president & was running the country hand-in-hand with the first amoebette.) I signed the post Sassy Soothsayer, as it was written in the form of a prediction. And suddenly, Sassy was born & began to flit about the village of Mohicanland, reading tea leaves, mixing potions, and getting into all sorts of trouble.

: Miss Marcia is the genteel & refined side of Sassy. Someone in Mohicanland has to take care of feeding the citizenry, and who better than the flower of Southern femininity, Miss Marcia, who has a cabin on the south side of town where she operates Miss Marcia's Famous DownHome Kitchen, wherein she serves up dishes like Grits 'n' Grease, Smashed Taters, and George RoadKill Armadillo.

: Benton (Just Call Me Bent) Twigg was a creation of Gayle's who came along courting Miss Marcia, and running for Sheriff of Mohicanland. He's a stalwart hero, through & through, though a bit soft-hearted where his Idjit cousin, Dweebie Day-Lewis, is concerned. Dweebie was dreamed up by Doc Mary during a battle between she & MMMM over Hawkeye. MMMM thought she had Hawkeye caught, well & good, but Doc informed her to look again. She was really holding DDL's moronic cousin, Dweebie Day-Lewis, who looks remarkably like Wally Cox, with coke-bottle glasses, stick-like arms, and a bb gun called Chipmunk Wounder. The good Sheriff and his pathetic cousin have been citizens of Mohicanland ever since.

: Miss Paddletale came about when Elaine made a comment on a thread that had gotten a bit hysterical (if my memory serves me correctly), and Paddletale was her take-off on Tattletale. Once she called me that, it seemed natural that Miss Paddletale move immediately into Mohicanland, and become the resident "The sky is falling, the sky is falling" Gal. Obviously with a name like Paddletale, she must be a DUCK, so that explains her quacking and squawking every time she gets upset over something.

: I cannot remember exactly which post began the history of the Gnome, but a village like Mohicanland HAS to have some wee people hangin' about, now doesn't it? And so the Gnome & his Gnomette moved under the toadstools down by the Glimmerglass and have been a happy addition to our countryside.

: Miss Katie O' Arbroath is a lovely Scottish lass (alter ego of our friend, Kate from Scotland, hence the name) who runs a quilt shoppe in Mohicanland. Bedding is her business. Just ask her, she'll tell you. And she's a dab hand with a needle, sartain.

: It's probably best to break these introductions down into bite-sized pieces, so I'll quit for now, having gone over my own personas & a couple of extras. But you can see that once Mohicanland was born, people began adding personas to the mix, bit by bit. Sometimes they sprang up as the natural result of a thread being discussed. Sometimes they were adopted by folks who just wanted to be part of the community, and who chose their particular characters based on their own likes or dislikes. Either way, the population of Mohicanland has grown over the last few years and for many of us has provided a real escape from the day to day humdrum world.

: All in all, Mohicanland very similar to the chronicles, only done strictly for laughs, and with no regard to accuracy at all. Hope that answers a few questions. Gayle & others, please jump in with more info on any characters you can think of. I'm sure Mohicanland means something different to each of us, and our individual perspectives & memories might help clear it up some.

: Oh, and Adele...the Huggy Merchant is a WONDERFUL addition to any community, if you ask me. And the Yengeese Strumpet is perfect for Mohicanland. Not to worry in that regard!


A brief dissertation on the Red Haired Lass, aka Tavern Wench:
When yours truly bungled happily into Mohicanland back in May, she seemed to fit in marvelously and immediately. One of the first discussions I joined in was involving some get together or other at Miss Marcia's, and being at a loss as to who to be, I just signed some post "Red Haired Lass." The storyline was that I had fled the Carolina colony fleeing a bad romance and found my way to Mohicanland escorted by some friendly trappers. I set up housekeeping in an empty cottage and asked the friendly folk to help me find a job. I'd let somebody here know that I used to be a coffeehouse waitress (nicknamed Java Wench) so it was suggested that Red join up with Mrs. O'Reilly at Bumppo's. She spends most of her time there, when she's not being relentlessly courted by Dweebie Day Lewis, harassed by gnomes washing in her coffee water, or ordering up shipments of Smooth Laddie Wax and Kilt N CLout creme from my good Aunt Aggie back in Scotland. I also somehow have a Huron Delivery Boy at my disposal, who was dispatched by Doc M once when I asked her to send some spells in the direction of the man what spurned me. Red dresses in puffy sleeved blouses, corsets and long skirts, and she whips up a mean batch o'squeezins an' haggis.

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