Cultural Differences.....

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Posted by Adele on March 04, 2001 at 13:59:20:

Okay, I would like to apologise in advance...it will save me a WHOLE lotta time later. If you want someone to blame, blame the Dutch Trader...she made me do it! And if you don't know what I am talking about......read on.....


CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH

You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.

You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.

You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.

You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital.

You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.

You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country.

You can legally kill yourself - You can legally be killed.

You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.

If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.

Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:

When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time

You get to eat insect food like snails, and frog's legs

If there's a war you can surrender really early

You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries (Well who hasn't eh?)

You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

You don't have to bother with toilets, just s*** in the street

People think you're a great lover even when you're not


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :

You can have a woman president without electing her

You can spell colour wrong and get away with it

You can call Budweiser beer

You can be a crook and still be president

If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything

If you can breathe you can get a gun

You get to join wars late

You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"

You can think you're the greatest nation on earth


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:

You get to pay the highest taxes in the world

You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer

You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half

You can get capital punishment for smoking dope

You can go skiing in your knickers

You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football

You have to be a woman to get anywhere

You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly spacious

When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and sex acts with penguins - and they believe you

You can actually get bored with blondes


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :

Two World Wars and One World Cup-doo-dah, doo-dah

Proper beer

You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket

You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

Union jack underpants

Water shortages guaranteed every single summer

You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not

Ditto changing underwear

Beats being Welsh.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!

You ain't English!


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :

In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes

Unembarrassed to wear fur.

No need to worry about tax returns

Glorious military history prior to 400 b.c.

Can wear sunglasses inside

Political stability?

Flexible working hours

Live near the Pope

Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair

Country run by Sicilian murderers


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :

Glorious history of killing South American tribes

The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees

You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.

The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans

Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing

Honesty

Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls

You get to eat bulls' testicles

Gibraltar

Supported Argentina in Falklands War.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :

Chicken Madras

Lamb Passanda

Onion Bhaji

Bombay Potato

Chicken Tikka Masala

Rogan Josh

Popadoms

Chicken Dopiaza

Meat Boona

Kingfisher lager


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:

You've got to be joking?


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :

Guinness

18 children because you can't use contraceptives

You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road

Pubs never close

Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.

No one can ever remember the night before

Kill people you don't agree with

Stew

More Guinness

Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :

It beats being an American.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins

Own-an-Eskimo scheme.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:

Know your great grandfather was a murdering bar steward that no civilised nation on earth wanted.

Fosters Lager

Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.

Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.

Tact and sensitivity. NOT!

Bondi Beach.

Other beaches.

Liberated attitude to homosexuals

Drinking cold lager on the beach

Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.


TOP TEN REASONS TO BE A GERMAN:

You do not WANT to go to the Oktoberfest, you know it is sh*t

Cheap fantastic beer

Behave like you want, everybody hates you anyway

Expensive fantastic cars

Unlimited Autobahn

Who else lost two world wars??

Who else in europe won three world cups :-) :-) :-) ??

You can buy all neighbour countries...

But you are not stupid, you rent them in the summer

See number 2+4+5 = BIG FUN

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