Re: Cultural Differences.....

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Posted by Seamus on March 04, 2001 at 16:38:04:

In Reply to: Re: Cultural Differences..... posted by Kate on March 04, 2001 at 15:41:12:

: : Okay, I would like to apologise in advance...it will save me a WHOLE lotta time later. If you want someone to blame, blame the Dutch Trader...she made me do it! And if you don't know what I am talking about......read on.....

: :
: : CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH

: : You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.

: : You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.

: : You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.

: : You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital.

: : You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.

: : You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country.

: : You can legally kill yourself - You can legally be killed.

: : You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.

: : If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.

: : Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:

: : When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

: : Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time

: : You get to eat insect food like snails, and frog's legs

: : If there's a war you can surrender really early

: : You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

: : You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries (Well who hasn't eh?)

: : You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

: : Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

: : You don't have to bother with toilets, just s*** in the street

: : People think you're a great lover even when you're not

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :

: : You can have a woman president without electing her

: : You can spell colour wrong and get away with it

: : You can call Budweiser beer

: : You can be a crook and still be president

: : If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything

: : If you can breathe you can get a gun

: : You get to join wars late

: : You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

: : You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"

: : You can think you're the greatest nation on earth

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:

: : You get to pay the highest taxes in the world

: : You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer

: : You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half

: : You can get capital punishment for smoking dope

: : You can go skiing in your knickers

: : You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football

: : You have to be a woman to get anywhere

: : You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly spacious

: : When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and sex acts with penguins - and they believe you

: : You can actually get bored with blondes

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :

: : Two World Wars and One World Cup-doo-dah, doo-dah

: : Proper beer

: : You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket

: : You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

: : Union jack underpants

: : Water shortages guaranteed every single summer

: : You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

: : Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not

: : Ditto changing underwear

: : Beats being Welsh.

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: : You ain't English!

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :

: : In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes

: : Unembarrassed to wear fur.

: : No need to worry about tax returns

: : Glorious military history prior to 400 b.c.

: : Can wear sunglasses inside

: : Political stability?

: : Flexible working hours

: : Live near the Pope

: : Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair

: : Country run by Sicilian murderers

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :

: : Glorious history of killing South American tribes

: : The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees

: : You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.

: : The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans

: : Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing

: : Honesty

: : Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls

: : You get to eat bulls' testicles

: : Gibraltar

: : Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :

: : Chicken Madras

: : Lamb Passanda

: : Onion Bhaji

: : Bombay Potato

: : Chicken Tikka Masala

: : Rogan Josh

: : Popadoms

: : Chicken Dopiaza

: : Meat Boona

: : Kingfisher lager

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:

: : You've got to be joking?

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :

: : Guinness

: : 18 children because you can't use contraceptives

: : You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road

: : Pubs never close

: : Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.

: : No one can ever remember the night before

: : Kill people you don't agree with

: : Stew

: : More Guinness

: : Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :

: : It beats being an American.

: : Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

: : You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

: : Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

: : Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

: : A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

: : Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

: : Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins

: : Own-an-Eskimo scheme.

: : Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground

: :
: : TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:

: : Know your great grandfather was a murdering bar steward that no civilised nation on earth wanted.

: : Fosters Lager

: : Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.

: : Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.

: : Tact and sensitivity. NOT!

: : Bondi Beach.

: : Other beaches.

: : Liberated attitude to homosexuals

: : Drinking cold lager on the beach

: : Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

: :
: : TOP TEN REASONS TO BE A GERMAN:

: : You do not WANT to go to the Oktoberfest, you know it is sh*t

: : Cheap fantastic beer

: : Behave like you want, everybody hates you anyway

: : Expensive fantastic cars

: : Unlimited Autobahn

: : Who else lost two world wars??

: : Who else in europe won three world cups :-) :-) :-) ??

: : You can buy all neighbour countries...

: : But you are not stupid, you rent them in the summer

: : See number 2+4+5 = BIG FUN

: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: Oh Adele, this was ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!! And the BEST part is - it's all true!! :o)

: (Now - where shall I move to... *decisions, decisions*
: Kate.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adele!!

You have just moved up lotsa notches on my "Favorites" list!! I love an equal opportunity offender...! (You forgot Newfoundland and Poland...naw...ya'd hafta explain each one to them....and then they still wouldn't get it.)

Pax AYE!!

Seamus

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