Re: Thought for the Day

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Posted by The Huggy Merchant on July 01, 2001 at 05:40:02:

In Reply to: Re: Thought for the Day posted by Nathan on June 30, 2001 at 16:24:47:

: : We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

: :
: : ~ Jeff Arder ~


: And here's something else...

: 1. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of
: a skating rink. 2. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way
: to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
: can buy cigarettes at the front. 3. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
: fries, and a DIET coke. 4. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
: the pens to the counters. 5. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
: the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 6. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with
: Braille lettering.
:
: In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
: stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
:
: 1. On Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the
: only time I have to work on my hair]
:
: 2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
: Details inside." [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
:
: 3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And
: that would be how...?]
:
: 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
: [But it's *just* a suggestion]
:
: 5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not
: turn upside down". [Oops, too late!]
:
: 6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
: heating". [As sure as night follows the day...]
:
: 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
: [But wouldn't this save even more time?]
:
: 8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce
: the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
: with head-colds off those forklifts.]
:
: 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" [One would
: hope]
:
: 10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
: only". [As opposed to what?]
:
: 11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
: [I gotta admit, I'm curious].
:
: 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]
:
: 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet,
: eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta]
:
: 14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
: enable you to fly." [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this
: one!]

: Nathan

=================

heheheheh, Nathan, I love it......

HM

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