The Mess at Bumppo's Tavern

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Posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on October 15, 1998 at 11:19:34:

Dear Courier Editors,

Hauled into Bumppo's Tavern last night with my motley crew of ex-captives, and am having trouble keeping control of the situation. Two of them want to go back to the Iroquois; three want to be taken immediately to their families in New Netherlands; five want employment as barmaids at the Tavern and are repeatedly engaging in screaming, hairpulling squalls with each other; one has been making unacceptable approaches to Dweebie Day-Lewis; the other one (appears to be of Irish extraction) ate the whole supply of Grandma's Lye Soap. Where happened to all these hot-to-trot traders who were itching to take these scraggley creaturs off my hands? Could use some help here, folks!

In the meantime, the Bee Holder's little French Amie Tray Bee Ann returned from Canada with startling news from her friend Butter Fly about the whereabouts of Hawkeye and Chingachgook.

Get me outta here!!!!

She, etc.

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