Re: Fashion Statements at JFC's Fast Foods

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Posted by Miss Gaylee Cooper on October 15, 1998 at 13:29:38:

In Reply to: Re: Message to Otto Mani Trader - The True Faith is Revealed posted by Miss Marcia on October 15, 1998 at 11:55:42:

: Miss Gaylee cooper wrote:
: : Thank you for the deeIightful invitation - will be there with sleigh bells on and looking forward to another hastily concocted feast at JFC's (they do that so well!)

: My Dear Miss Gaylee, I do SEW hope you intend for these to be fairly large sleigh bells, strategically placed! Miss Marcia is afraid to think what commotion might arise at the Notorious Bumppo's Tavern, otherwise!

Dear Miss Marcia,

Since we are into the subject of fashion, I do want you to be aware that I NEVER, but NEVer wear sleighbells that are not tiny and delicate to emphasize my slender, sylphlike figure and my delicate girlish features (stop laughing, Marcia, a little lie never hurt anybody now and then!). Ahem!---

As to strategic positioning, obviously I would dress a bit differently for Bumppo's sleezy, flea-infested frontier dive than for JFC's elite environment of fine dining and subdued atmosphere (Motto: Stand back at least 10 feet from the swinging kitchen door at all times). I believe for JFC's the tinkling tintinabulation of tiny Bustle Bells is just right. Also, perhaps a silvery bell or two nestled in the shining folds of one's elaborate coiffure and sufficiently anchored to withstand occasional flurries of flying tablewhare or the odd airborne roast duck.

Bumppo's, on the other hand, requires something more on the order of those clangers called Butt Bells. Useful for calling in the fire brigade, locating the Kings Footsoldiers in a heavy blizzard or summoning the waiter for another tankard of Bumppo's original Mohawk Malt. We haven't seen bells like that used for fashion purposes around here since Grandmama Cooper's debutante ball, during which she stunned the colony by dancing to the Bell Bottom Blues right down the middle of the dinner table. Such a one for setting the social pace, was our Grandmama!

Looking forward to seeing you at the meeting. Afterwards, perhaps we can get together for a cup of tea and an objective evaluation of everyone's fashionable outfits. OH, how I love a good cat session! Dear, dear me, just think of it.

Your neighbor,
Miss Gaylee Cooper

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