Re: LOTM Shenanigans

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Posted by Sassy Soothsayer on October 16, 1998 at 21:31:49:

In Reply to: Re: LOTM Shenanigans posted by Old Crone on October 16, 1998 at 16:32:39:

The Old Crone wrote:

: UFO!! UFO!! The sky's a fallin'! Help, a big purple rag jes swooshed down outtin' the sky and buzzed my wattle hut.

>>Calm down, you Ignorant Scooger, or I won't drop off my special B'ar Grease 'n' Pork Fat Contitioner for your stringy hair on my next fly by!

:There was a lady sittin' a'top

>>That was no lady...that was just Sassy!!!

:wearin' flowin' veils fappin' in the breeze (the veils - not the lady, and a peerin' down (the lady - not the veils).

>>I'm a-peerin' and they're a-flappin'! Wheeee!! I do LOVE my new mode of transportation! *mi, mi, mi...ahem..."Why don't you come with me, Little Girl, on a Magic Carpet Ride?, de, dah, dum, dum...Close your eyes, Girl, Look inside,, la, la" Ooops...there I go agin, just a-flyin' and a-sangin'*

:I chucked a rock at her, but the dang thing fell back and konked me on me head.

>>Fell back, be derned!! Chuck a rock at ME, and I chucks 'em back atcha! And I'm a dead-eye shot, shooting...or chucking, as the case may be.

:I'as so startled I stumbled and fell in the pig pen (already had my daily waller).

>>Hmmmph! Bet you weren't half as startled as them PIGS!!

:If that wern't enough some dang, prissy fool in a white wig called Heywoody come down here waggin' some kinda forms. I come out here to get away from the goveryment.

>>Yeah, this here's the only land available to Poor People (and Old Crones) but if you think you can live out here beholden to none, you got another think comin'! Big Bubba is everywhere!!!

:Thunder and Lightin'!, he ougher be drawn and quartered.

>>Now just calm down a minute, Sweet Patootie! You're gonna frazzle your eyebulbs clean outen your head if you don't relax a bit. You don't have to fill out no steenking goveryment forms...just stall Heywoody off. Send him down to Bumppo's Tavern for a pint or six, and he'll forget he left those forms with you. Then you can take all those papers and stack them neatly in the outhouse, where they can be put to better use than the goveryment could ever think of! Believe me, the time will come when you'll thank me for this handy suggestion.

Yours Enchantingly,
The Sassy Soothsayer a/k/a Mme. Claire Voyant
Motto: Please don't Squeeze the Charmin!

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