Re: Alarm and Consternation

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Posted by Miss Marcia on January 28, 1999 at 15:58:25:

In Reply to: Alarm and Consternation posted by Victoria on January 28, 1999 at 07:35:00:

Victoria wrote:
: Alarm and consternation has greeted the news that the notorious
: and nefarious Simon Girty has been spotted in the vicinity of
: Mohicanland. Certain local residents have also wondered if the
: paucity of possum, a favorite local dish, is attributable to the presence
: of he and his misbehaved cohorts.

Dear Victoria,

Not to worry, m' need for alarm or consternation at all. Mr. Girty was only just passing through when he was apparently spotted by an alert Mohicanland resident. I truly believe he is far and away from here right now, though he may make the occasional swing back through now and again. It's not the scarcity of possum that draws him, but the highly delightful, supremely sublime way that I cook it. As you have noticed, my Possum and Turnip delight DOES smell somewhat like a batch of Grandma's Lyesoap, but I assure you, the taste is to die for!

Several of the more timid residents
: have fled to the safety of German Flats where they say they rest easy
: at night and don’t have to worry about working in the garden.

Now, now, tell those timid folk to come on back home. The gardens are suffering from their absence, and the daily life in Mohicanland, as well. Can this be where our esteemed Towne Crier disappeared to? At any rate, they are safe for the time being, and should return home posthaste.

: Bumppo’s
: Tavern has put in an extra supply of rum for those who feel the need
: to boost their courage.

Bumppo's was just LOOKIN' for an excuse to stock up on rum, and pour it down the throats of the tavern crowd. Methinks they are the ones who started up all this hullabaloo anyways.

Regulars have wondered about the large kettle
: bilin’ out behind Miss Marcia’s. Some say it smells like her Possum
: and Turnip Surprise, while others swear it was a new batch of Granny’s
: Lye Soap. (Takes off the dirt with the skin).

See above!

With Dweebie missing,
: and Sheriff Twigg off driving a supply wagon for the militia, some wonder
: what the activity is all about. She has been heard singing "Under the
: Greenwood Tree" and "Oogy, Oogy Boogy" at the top of her lungs.

Don't put too much stock in my warbling...since my adventure on the film set of Crumbs Along the Mohawk, I've been practicing daily. You never know when the next part may come along, and I hoping to do a musical this time.

As for Dweebie, I have it on good authority that he's soon to be making an appearance around these parts, having been pulled from the river by a passing catamount, which looked him over & decided he wasn't worth the trouble of eating & left him in the mud, SOAKING WET! I have been notified (I can say no more!) that he is straggling along the trail to Mohicanland, even as we speak, groping blindly at tree trunks, wheezing & sneezing, and complaining bitterly about his lot in life. Expect his sorry ol' self to show up any day now. Probably just about the time Benton returns from helping the militia. A great reunion will surely be in store.

All in all, it has been a Quiet Week in Lake Mohicanland, My Home Town, where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average...ooops! Wait!! That's someone ELSE'S home town, isn't it? Sorry, Garrison! Let's just say, things are as good as can be expected in a place like this. Now, I really must get back to my Possum & Turnip Surprise, so named because, though the turnips took it pretty well, the possum was pretty upset when I tossed him into that kettle!

Yours Most Graciously,
Miss Marcia
Motto: Playin' Possum in MY yard is dangerous to your health!

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