Posted by Commander Achillse on March 16, 1999 at 16:27:58:
Oh Captain, my Captain,
In a flashing response to your urgent dispatch earlier this week on suspicious activity in the outskirts of Mohicanland, the Wah-Ta-Wah Warrioresses launched a full investigation of the aforementioned area. Come hell or high water, they solemnly swore, the truth is out there and we will unravel it. And so it was to be.
Was there criminal activity? There was. Were there vile deeds done? There were. Lo and behold. The once peaceful and rustic region was covered in loud colours and flashing ad signs seducing people to "come and place your bets in the one and only official bingo and betting palace in the whole of Mohicanland. All bets placed here will affect all future gambling". Upon seeing this, the Mohicanland Traders flew into a rage and led an all out assault on the accursed establishment. The walls were brought down and the interior was pounded to dust. Then the evildoers were brought out, whipped, maimed and drowned, and subsequently treated to a serious warning never to get into this kind of mischief again, or they will suffer the consequences.
The resulting chaos, smoke and charred ruins inspired the Dutch Trader to the following philosophical contemplation:
"here today, gone tomorrow
well off now and then it's sorrow
Life's weird. Where's the booze?"
We are still contemplating this.
Though we are proud on a job well done, we fear that the usual suspects may have again managed to escape underground. We will remain vigilant.
I am awaiting further instructions, my Captain, and would like to say to all Mohicanlanders: hey, hey, HEY PEOPLE! .... Let's be careful out there.
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