Posted by Commander Achillse on March 24, 1999 at 16:25:11:
Oh Captain My Captain,
A peculiar thing happened to us, which I must report to you.
After their weekly gathering at Bumppo's, the Wah-Tah-Wah Warrioresses were heading home along the George Road. The air was filled with joy and lots of laughter could be heard. Suddenly a twig cracked and out of the bushes appeared She-Who-Tracks-Way-Ahead-Of-The-Rest-Of-Us. And a good thing She-Does. "Beware", She-Said, "Round the corner lays a shadow in hiding. An ambush may be planned."
We proceeded with caution and wah-ta-ya-know? Out of the ground rose a rather odd looking fellow. Before the Warrioresses could say "Wahssup?", he started screaming at us. "In no way am I a part of this ambush setup", he yelled, "I am only the gardener around here. I don't know left from right but I want you to know that I think you are all trash!"
Then this fellow peeked over his shoulder and cried: "Where are my reinforcements?" There were none. He then fell to his knees and whimpered: "Why are you people all attacking me? It's not fair, it's not, it's not, it's not." Obviously we were very puzzled and approached him saying: "You okay, dude? Need any help?" Unfortunately, before we could reach him, he took a small shovel out of his pocket and quickly burrowed underground.
As of yet, we have not been able to track him down, nor do we know who he is. However, our new friend Cuchulainn told us that this guy is known in gardeners' circles under the nickname of Lord Crunch. We may have to write this case off as an X-file. What do you say? Wah-Ta-Wacky-World, right?
Greetings to you all, and hey, hey, HEY! Let's be careful out there...
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