Re: Open letter to the Courier re: Snow White in the Black Forest

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Posted by Courier Editors on January 06, 1999 at 19:12:43:

In Reply to: Open letter to the Courier re: Snow White in the Black Forest posted by Dutch Trader on January 06, 1999 at 13:57:22:

Dear Esteemed Dutch Trader,

Very good of you to drop in and offer your opinions. Before we move forward to attack, I mean, examine your latest allegations, let us say this. I remember with fondness the old days when you were but a young upstart in this trading business. The days when we were friendly and you were honest. Do you recall those times, Dutch Trader? Do you remember the many FAVORS we did you? The promotions ... free PR ... the image make-over ... the polishing of your rough ways? Can you remember those great times, Dutchie trader? Sigh ... the good old days. We regret your treachery and look upon your illicit ways with great sadness. At any rate ...

" I am not without a sense of humor, so I, too, was highly amused and entertained by the most recent edition of The Courier."

We never doubted your sense of humor and are pleased you were amused.

"However, and as usual might I say, your so-called raving reporting is once again not backed by proof."

Ah, Dutchie! You've erred! We can PROVE everything we print, unless we rely upon "other" sources. Sometimes we must simply report what we've heard, even if it is not yet stipulated to by the parties involved. That's what we call "news", Dutchie.

"As we say in the Low Lands, it is nothing but "fried air". Rest assured, I am in no way involved in the disappearance of She."

From what we've heard fly out of your mouth, there's many things you say in the Low Lands, not all printable. And why do they call it the "low lands" anyway? Is this a cultural or geographical reference? As for She & her disappearance ... we are committed to the truth, Dutchie. Please don't ask us to participate in your shameless cover-up. When we heard of a crumby trail, we immediately thought of you!

" I must agree, though, with your suspicions concerning Bent Twigg's mysterious vanishing at precisely the same moment. Combine that with the eerie absence from the scene of the shapeshifting Turkish Trader, and the thought of a conspiracy seems not so far-fetched anymore?"

Ah! Something is confirmed here? Yes, Bent Twigg's disappearance ... the Turkish Trader's disappearance ... She's disappearance ... it does sound like a conspiracy. How much did you pay the bent twigg & Mr. Otto Mani? Was it in Dutch Guilders at least? Or
was it cheap brandy? (We've heard rumors of Mr. Twigg's penchant for fermented drink.)

"Hmmmm? I would say that this is a trail worth following.... Too bad that you are sadly out of a trustworthy pathfinder, chuckle, snigger, ahem."

Enjoying your little game, are you? Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat (as they say in the low lands). We've runners running the Black Forest trails even as we speak. We will find her ... no matter how long, no matter how far ... we will find her!

: Honesty forces me to admit there is one thing true in your report."

Snort, chuckle, ahem ... what was that?

"Yes, there is a bet going on called Off Track Betting. Yes, everybody can join in. Just contact you local trader (and that's ME wherever you live). Now, let's see wether Sassy Soothsayer AKA Mme Clair Voyant will take up this gauntlet..."

Do you still have a partner? You know, that thieving E. Lane? Or do you go it alone these days?

" With the highest regard,

Likewise, esteemed trader of all things labeled CA$H & Carry.

" Don't forget: All trails lead to home .... or the Black Forest, and crumbs are bread too..."

We have recorded your words of wisdom for all to read.
Thank you for your thoughts.


The Courier Editors

PS Who is this Snow White dame?

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