What the bloody hell kind of plan is THIS??

Posted by Sassy Soothsayer on January 10, 1999 at 15:10:11:

Geeeeeez, Lew-eeeeeze!!! I come zipping into Mohicanland early this morning on my trusty Purple Paisley Magic Carpet, and what do I find? The whole world's on fire!!!! People missing, presumed starved, traders not trading, Bumppo's not bumping, time being misspent every which way, and on top of it all, the sky is supposed to be falling? Whadup wid that??

Needless to say (though I go right ahead & say it anyway) once the smoke cleared, I discovered all the panic and hysteria is for naught! That ol' Sadsack Sister Sissy Doomsayer has been running amok & causing mayhem in the streets. Mohicanlanders, I tell you once again, pay her no nevermind a'tall! She ain't "right," if you get my drift. Hasn't been the same since she fell out of a tree while spying on some of the locals frolicking outside Cameron's cabin a few years back, and landed smack on her head. I would have stopped her from alarming the good citizens of Mohicanland had I been in town. Unfortunately for you guys, though fortunately for ME, I've been on a leetle trip down to MMMMarcia's house in the sunny land of the Seminoles. Strictly business, doncha know, checking up on the doings of the Bee Holder and his Swarm. The fact that it was about 35 degrees below zero in Mohicanland the day I left had nothing whatsoever to do with my journey...honest.

Eeeenyway, I'm back now and can set a few things straight, I reckon. Sissy's fears of starvation notwithstanding, I can tell you that Miss Marcia & Bent Twigg are QUITE alive & well...happy, even...and will soon be returning home to regale you with their adventures. Regarding She-Who-Tracks, everyone knows she comes and goes like a will-o-the-wisp. I have seen in the cards that she is fine & dandy, busy doing what it is she does, and she will return to Mohicanland in her own good time. As for those who spread malicious rumors about her disappearance coinciding with that of Bent Twigg, I say to you, pish-tosh! Tsk. And even harummmmph! Stictly a co-inkydink, as me old mam used to say.

In short, all is fine and dandy, and those who are still making ready to run far, run fast, you can stop now. Settle back down with a mug of ale or some hot buttered rum, and prop your feet up by the fire. Things are good in our village, and this year promises to be a fine one for all concerned.

Yours Enchantingly,
The Sassy Soothsayer a/k/a Mme. Claire Voyant
Motto: Tell 'em What they Wanna Hear!

Follow Ups:

• Re: What the bloody hell kind of plan is THIS?? Jeroboam Jones 18:47:17 1/11/99 (2)
  • Re: What the bloody hell kind of plan is THIS?? Old Crone 22:51:52 1/11/99 (0)
  • Re: What the bloody hell and the hot buttered rum business... Sassy Soothsayer 20:25:52 1/11/99 (0)
• Re: What the bloody hell kind of plan is THIS?? Old Crone 14:47:09 1/11/99 (0)
• Re: Order for hot buttered rum, please! Faithful TowneCryer 15:24:33 1/10/99 (2)
  • Re: Order for hot buttered rum, please! Sassy Soothsayer 16:41:03 1/10/99 (1)
    • Re: Blessings for hot buttered rum! Faithful TowneCryer 17:54:31 1/10/99 (0)

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: Geeeeeez, Lew-eeeeeze!!!  I come zipping into Mohicanland early this morning on my trusty Purple Paisley Magic Carpet, and what do I find?  The whole world's on fire!!!!  People missing, presumed starved, traders not trading, Bumppo's not bumping, time being misspent every which way, and on top of it all, the sky is supposed to be falling?  Whadup wid that??  

: Needless to say (though I go right ahead & say it anyway) once the smoke cleared, I discovered all the panic and hysteria is for naught! That ol' Sadsack Sister Sissy Doomsayer has been running amok & causing mayhem in the streets.  Mohicanlanders, I tell you once again, pay her no nevermind a'tall!  She ain't "right," if you get my drift. Hasn't been the same since she fell out of a tree while spying on some of the locals frolicking outside Cameron's cabin a few years back, and landed smack on her head.  I would have stopped her from alarming the good citizens of Mohicanland had I been in town.  Unfortunately for you guys, though fortunately for ME, I've been on a leetle trip down to MMMMarcia's house in the sunny land of the Seminoles.  Strictly business, doncha know, checking up on the doings of the Bee Holder and his Swarm.  The fact that it was about 35 degrees below zero in Mohicanland the day I left had nothing whatsoever to do with my journey...honest.  

: Eeeenyway, I'm back now and can set a few things straight, I reckon. Sissy's fears of starvation notwithstanding, I can tell you that Miss Marcia & Bent Twigg are QUITE alive & well...happy, even...and will soon be returning home to regale you with their adventures.  Regarding She-Who-Tracks, everyone knows she comes and goes like a will-o-the-wisp.  I have seen in the cards that she is fine & dandy, busy doing what it is she does, and she will return to Mohicanland in her own good time.  As for those who spread malicious rumors about her disappearance coinciding with that of Bent Twigg, I say to you, pish-tosh!  Tsk.  And even harummmmph!  Stictly a co-inkydink, as me old mam used to say.  

: In short, all is fine and dandy, and those who are still making ready to run far, run fast, you can stop now.  Settle back down with a mug of ale or some hot buttered rum, and prop your feet up by the fire. Things are good in our village, and this year promises to be a fine one for all concerned. 

: Yours Enchantingly,
: The Sassy Soothsayer a/k/a Mme. Claire Voyant
: Motto:  Tell 'em What they Wanna Hear!


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