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Posted by Jeroboam Jones on January 12, 1999 at 19:32:24:

Miz Sassy:

Hit's me, Jeroboam. Thank you kindly fer stoppin' by with yer libations. Miz Crone, she's awful tight with vittles an' such. This were a real treat! Yer a good woman, ma'am--and a handsome one.

I hear talk that yer man flew the coop. A lone woman in this wild country ain't safe. Lookit what happened to that Miz Davenie. Heered she took up with some half n***d Scot or somebody. Thass no good. Miz Sassy, I'd be pleased if you'd let me keep company with you. I ain't aimin' to make any brags, but I'm strong an' able. I c'n plow an' plant good an' hunt an' I'll be shut o' Miz Crone in five years. Sick o' polishing her jewelry an' silver anyhow.

Miz Sassy, you an' yer carpet are welcome on my floor anytime.

Sincerely,

Jeroboam Jones

P.S. But nex' time, ma'am, please leave yer bullfrog in the swamp. It like to kep' me up all night with its croakin'. I was so tard I fell asleep durin' chores an' Miz Crone whaled the lights outta me.

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