Posted by Kate on April 07, 1999 at 17:58:25:
Well, Mr. Simon Girty!!
I wish to protest at your most ungentlemanly behaviour!! Pushing up my open winder, eh, window, sidling over my sill and perloining me best... pardon, *my* best, colourful quilt!! What of the 'open door' policy of the settlements? You can leave your door open, but not your window, apparently!! Have you no shame, sir!!
I'm sure we could have struck a very commodious bargain, had you had the courage to enter my establishment, knock me up (let me rephrase that last bit - t'was but a Scottish colloquilism for...) awaken me, and ask if you could purchase said article! I would have been truly happy to show you round my bed covers!!
I must admit I did have an inkling of your presence in my shoppe, (which I put down to the smell of nocturnal happenings in the wild!). I think it was that wind that usually carries the smell of fuu-uudge - it brought a distinct smell of unwashed wool blanket, 'used' eagle feathers and a *definite* odour of 'used' hairpieces/extensions!
Restitution is most desirable, sir! If you could please be so kind as to remunerate me for said quilt, in kind, that would be kind! Lots and lots of eagle feathers will do it! Hair pieces - at a *pinch*, sir!! I will try to keep Marshall Art occupied while you sidle over to my back stoop with the desired form of trade, sir!
Hoping to hear from you - or at least smell your presence, in the near future,
I remain, your quilt provider - (unknowing!)
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