Re: Lord Twychen-Totter Stirs Up the 60th

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Posted by Lord Twychen-Totter on April 22, 1999 at 14:24:43:

In Reply to: Lord Twychen-Totter posted by Left-tenant Toadie Oglethorpe on April 21, 1999 at 15:10:47:

: : : Sir:

: : : Some years hence I had the exquisite pleasure of attending the hanging of that notorious pirate Captain Kidd, who operated out of New York. It is well known that Kidd divided up his loot and dispersed it for safekeeping with various acquaintances. Needless to say, The Crown claims the right to any and all of the contraband.

: : : We have recently reviewed a document penned by one J.F. Cooper, which leads us to believe that part of the loot of that scurrillous ruffian Kidd has been buried in a lake in the environs of Mohicanland. We are further led to believe that a character known to you as The Deerslayer, a.k.a. Hawkeye, a.k.a. La Longue Carabine was involved with Kidd's accomplice, one Thomas Hutter a.k.a. Thomas Hovey, and has knowledge of the whereabouts of the stash. We wish to locate this "Hawkeye" for questionning. Any assistance you can render will be highly appreciated and suitably rewarded.

: : : His Majesty's Agent
: : : Lord Twychen-Totter
: : : a.k.a. Earl of Rentokil

: : Dear Lord Twychen-Totter:

: : It is my understanding that, since we're between wars for a day or two, Hawkeye is currently rendering his services to one Dr. Mary at her office out the northern sallyport. I have taken the liberty of forwarding your letter to Dr. Mary, and I am sure she would be happy to put you in contact with Hawkeye. To reach her office, get on the mail packet which goes up the Horican. As you near the fort, send in a message to Dr. Mary, and she will be happy to tell you where to get off.

: : Sincerely,
: : Sheriff Benton (a.k.a.Bent) Twigg

: My Dear Lord Twychen-Totter
: My fellow officers here at my posting talk of a fort near the lake of which you speak. Several of my brother officers spent time in the company of an attractive young lady thereabouts. Perhaps, you may wish to interview them on the subject.
: Fauningly yours,
: Lt.T. Oglethorpe

Dear Lt. Oglethorpe,

It is always nice to hear from one of my inferiors and to know that you are seeking at all times to serve The Crown through my exalted position and influence.

I would be happy to interview any officers who have information on the Kidd treasure, however, at this time I am on my way to Fort William Henry to confer with Dr. Mary and possibly to interview Hawkeye. Needless to say this is a ticklish subject, and I expect to be tied up for quite a while. I understand Dr. Mary has a reputation for being a rather touchy lady. (*snort, snicker - ahem!*)

A regiment of the 60th is on its way to the area to investigate some disturbances there. Perhaps you would be so good as to forward to Major Effingham of the 60th a list of the names of the officers who might have information on the situation at the lake. I believe I have heard that one Captain Warley was in the middle of some questionable activities with the lady you mentioned. Would he be available for interviewing at this time?

His Majesty's Agent
Lord Twychen-Totter

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