Posted by Miss Marcia on July 15, 1999 at 13:58:38:
In Reply to: Great News!! posted by Doctor Mary on July 15, 1999 at 13:01:41:
Dear Dr. Mary...
What an odd coincidence! A plain brown envelope ALSO arrived on the doorstep of Miss Marcia's Downhome Kitchen this morning, and the contents ALSO purported to be descriptions of the missing LOTM scenes...but there's where the similarities ended. In THIS version, the scenes were described as follows:
1. Huron Camp: Hawkeye rescues Cora from the flames then says to Uncas, who's still hangin' around behind the rock, "Stay outta the way, Junior! Let a REAL hero rescue Alice of the Coddled Egg Eyes!"
2. Cliff Trail: As the Mysterious Woman in the Pink Bunny outfit stands cackling over Cora's sad, unfortunate accident, she is brained over the head by a 2 1/2 pound box of fuu-uuudge, and takes the quick way down the mountainside herOWNdarnself!
3. More Cliff Trail: Upon returning down the trail, dragging a blankly staring Alice behind him, Hawkeye spies an absolute vision in a blue apron and realizes that his infatuation with Cora is over...it's the full-figured gal with the wooden ladel who will make him the happiest of men. So he gives Alice a pat on the back & tells her to see if she can't find her way back to Boston by herself, and grabs Apron Lady in a passionate cliff-side embrace. They then live happily ever after in a little cabin in the woods with Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Doc, Dopey...no! Wait...they live in a little house on the prairie with Pa, Ma, Mary and Laura...no, that's not it, either. They build a home on Walton's Mountain & have cozy family rituals they perform nightly, ending with things like, "Goodnight, Hawkeye," "Goodnight, Apron Lady," "Goodnight, Chingachgook," "Goodnight, UncasBoy!"
Well, it's ONE of those fairy tales, anyway!! And that's the TRUTH!!! *me, sticking out my tongue here, and making rude Edith-Ann type noises*
Yours Every So Graciously, but only Semi-truthfully,
Post a Followup