Posted by Kate on July 28, 1999 at 19:14:01:
Dear Miss MMMMarcia!
I am writing to formally thank you for my invitation to your wonderful soiree yesterday afternoon. (Had I known it was to go on well into the 'wee' hours, I would have slipped into something a little more comfortable - than my best sprigged muslin with those awful tight 'stays'!! However, as the night progressed, and I stayed 'stayed', I hardly noticed I could barely breathe!)
Your extraordinary gregarious welcome to your humble little establishment was - unexpected, my dear, but - much appreciated!! Without meaning to be unkind though, I do wish you could change your 'au de toilette', ma'am!! (It bore a striking resenblance to Simon Girty after a night in yore corn crib with his 'jug'!!) May I suggest you purchase a little 'Soir de Mohicanland' from 'he-who-shall-not-be-named' at the Trading Post? I agree he *can* be a rogue, ma'am, but we 'professional' ladies do know how to strike a bargain, do we not?
Now, Miss Marcia, I have to agree without a doubt, those Tea-Keela things were mighty fine! (Uuuuuuurrrrp! Oh I do beg your pardon!!! Just a little bilious, I think!) However, as I am not really accustomed to this 'sippin' the liquor' as you colonials call it, I felt that I really had to draw the line after the ... oooooh, ninth or tenth (Just *can't remember!! Can't remember *much* about last night, truth to tell!) I hope you will not take offence, ma'am, but I really am much more partial to that wonderful lemonade that you pride yourself on making - what do you call it? Mint ...dewlap! That's it!! So, I just helped myself to that, the rest of the night - my, that goes down a treat, that does!! (Uuuuuuuurp! I *really* must get some of Miss Sassy's Gregarious Gut Potion!!)
But, much as I do enjoy a good party, ma'am - I do have to stick my neck out here!! Sorry...!! I do have to say! I do not - and I emphasise here - I *do not* go with 'animal-baiting' in the name of entertainment!! Could you not have set up a 'jug band' (I believe Simon Girty's your man for that!!) or some such? What was done to that dog goes beyond entertainment! I do believe Miss Gaylee has seen the last of that kitten, too, the way it was hanging on to that dog's pelt for deal life!!
Talking of which, I had that scurvy Girty poking around my back stoop very early this morning (oooooooo, the sun *does* hurt your eyes, first thing, doesn't it!!) He had what he described as 'painter pelts', whatever *they* may be, to trade for another of my quilts!! NO WAY, JOSE!! I may be new to the Colony but I know an untanned hide when I see one!! It takes more than a couple of freshly killed hides to get into *my* bedding!!!
By the way, Miss MMMMarcia, is it just my imagination - or is that Miss Alice Monro not a strange girl!! Why, when I spoke to her, she never even had the courtesy to fasten her eyes on my face! Looked blankly round as if she had never been in your back parlour before!! I do wonder sometimes if that girl isn't one sandwich short of a picnic!! However, much as I can't figger ou... (beg pardon!) *figure* out what that nice Mr. Uncas sees in her, I have to admit I was slighly dismayed when her escort arrived for her!! There was just something about that 'guide' I didn't like!! Perhaps that is being too unkind - there was just something about him that I felt I couldn't trust!! Quite frankly, his eyes are too close together for my liking, Miss!! However, if he's Miss Alice's father's choice of escort, who are we to dissuade her from going with him (actually, I do hear tell that Magua is very dear to Col. Monro's heart! But we'll say no more about *that*!!)
Well, Miss Marcia, I must once again say 'thank you' for the wonderful soiree!! Now - I really *must* go and lie down!! I have *the most dreadful headache*!!! I do believe it is this muggy, humid weather, which I am not used to, being of good European breeding, dontcha know!!
Yours most *very* delicately,
(I do wish that Towne Cryer would not *shout* so!!)
Miss Katie (of Miss Katie's Quilt Shoppe - just a wee plug!)
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