Posted by Miss Marcia on July 29, 1999 at 14:39:38:
In Reply to: 'Thank You' for the Festivities! posted by Kate on July 28, 1999 at 19:14:01:
My dear Miss Katie,
Thank you SEW much for your very nice note. I'm most glad that you enjoyed yourself at my little soiree. I, myself, am just getting on my feet again, after a little bout with one of my migraines, doncha know. No, no...it had nothing whatsoever to do with all those Margie-Ritas I taste-tested before the party began, or with the 3 or 4 or 12 mint juleps I partook of as the party progressed, nor with the peach brandy I had to settle my nerves a bit after the fiasco with that ol' hound Hector, and Miss Gaylees precious kitty, Painter. It's just my lot in life to be plagued by very bad headaches that come on out of nowhere, and are exacerbated by my equally perplexing dizzy spells, wherein the floors of my downhome kitchen just WON'T stay still!
But I'm much better today, thank goodness.
Now, Miss Katie, you wrote:
: I am writing to formally thank you for my invitation to your wonderful soiree yesterday afternoon. (Had I known it was to go on well into the 'wee' hours, I would have slipped into something a little more comfortable - than my best sprigged muslin with those awful tight 'stays'!! However, as the night progressed, and I stayed 'stayed', I hardly noticed I could barely breathe!)
Why, my DEAR...I would NEVER have guessed that your teeny, eeensy little waistline was not everybit the smallest in all of Mohicanland, without any artificial devices at all. For myself, my stays...WENT! They gave out years ago, immediately following one of my famous downhome Thanksgiving Feasts. I think it was the roast possum stuffed with turnip greens and smashed taters that did it. But, as my ol' granny used to say, "Never trust a skinny cook!" I'll leave the waistline wars to you sweet young things.
Then you wrote:
: Your extraordinary gregarious welcome to your humble little establishment was - unexpected, my dear, but - much appreciated!! Without meaning to be unkind though, I do wish you could change your 'au de toilette', ma'am!! (It bore a striking resenblance to Simon Girty after a night in yore corn crib with his 'jug'!!) May I suggest you purchase a little 'Soir de Mohicanland' from 'he-who-shall-not-be-named' at the Trading Post? I agree he *can* be a rogue, ma'am, but we 'professional' ladies do know how to strike a bargain, do we not?
I swear, I DO not know what you are referring to...my eau de toilette?? Mayhap I spilled a tiny little drop or two of that there tea-keela on my dress, whilst churning up the Margie-Ritas, but other than that, I can think of no reason I should bear ANY odiferous relationship to the pungent Mr. Girty! Harummmmmmph! *indignant sniff*
And THEN you wrote:
: Now, Miss Marcia, I have to agree without a doubt, those Tea-Keela things were mighty fine!
So they were, but I shudder to think of them just now...my head, doncha know!
:(Uuuuuuurrrrp! Oh I do beg your pardon!!! Just a little bilious, I think!) However, as I am not really accustomed to this 'sippin' the liquor' as you colonials call it, I felt that I really had to draw the line after the ... oooooh, ninth or tenth
Sounds like you drew YOUR line about an inch from MINE!
:(Just *can't remember!! Can't remember *much* about last night, truth to tell!) I hope you will not take offence, ma'am, but I really am much more partial to that wonderful lemonade that you pride yourself on making - what do you call it? Mint ...dewlap! That's it!! So, I just helped myself to that, the rest of the night - my, that goes down a treat, that does!!
Yes, well it's my own secret recipe...got it from some sisters who were gettin' ready to settle down Virginny way on Walton's Mountain. Their daddy, the Judge, passed it on to them, and I purely do love making up a batch of it from time to time. It's good fer what ails ye!
And you went on to write:
: But, much as I do enjoy a good party, ma'am - I do have to stick my neck out here!! Sorry...!! I do have to say! I do not - and I emphasise here - I *do not* go with 'animal-baiting' in the name of entertainment!! Could you not have set up a 'jug band' (I believe Simon Girty's your man for that!!) or some such? What was done to that dog goes beyond entertainment! I do believe Miss Gaylee has seen the last of that kitten, too, the way it was hanging on to that dog's pelt for deal life!!
Well, now...y'all aren't bein' exactly fair to Miss Marcia now, doncha know! That little ruckus was pure happenstance, and none of my fault at all! How was I to know that Miss Gaylee was gonna leave her little kitten in the same room where Miss Alice was a-restin' all cuddled up next to that hound, Hector? I'm innocent, I tell you...innocent!!
: Talking of which, I had that scurvy Girty poking around my back stoop very early this morning (oooooooo, the sun *does* hurt your eyes, first thing, doesn't it!!) He had what he described as 'painter pelts', whatever *they* may be, to trade for another of my quilts!! NO WAY, JOSE!! I may be new to the Colony but I know an untanned hide when I see one!! It takes more than a couple of freshly killed hides to get into *my* bedding!!!
Hmmmmmmm....would you care to work that little phrase up in cross stitch? It would look well hanging on the wall of your boudoir, would it not?
: By the way, Miss MMMMarcia, is it just my imagination - or is that Miss Alice Monro not a strange girl!! Why, when I spoke to her, she never even had the courtesy to fasten her eyes on my face! Looked blankly round as if she had never been in your back parlour before!! I do wonder sometimes if that girl isn't one sandwich short of a picnic!!
Well, I, myself, have often thought her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor, if you get my drift, which I don't imagine you do, since neither of us could possibly have any idea what the heck an elevator IS, anyway! It's just something Sassy says.
:However, much as I can't figger ou... (beg pardon!) *figure* out what that nice Mr. Uncas sees in her, I have to admit I was slighly dismayed when her escort arrived for her!! There was just something about that 'guide' I didn't like!! Perhaps that is being too unkind - there was just something about him that I felt I couldn't trust!! Quite frankly, his eyes are too close together for my liking, Miss!! However, if he's Miss Alice's father's choice of escort, who are we to dissuade her from going with him (actually, I do hear tell that Magua is very dear to Col. Monro's heart! But we'll say no more about *that*!!)
All I know about that Magua feller is what I heard tell La Longue Carabine had to say of him, namely, "He ain't no Mohawk...he's HURON!" I think that speaks for itself.
: Well, Miss Marcia, I must once again say 'thank you' for the wonderful soiree!! Now - I really *must* go and lie down!! I have *the most dreadful headache*!!! I do believe it is this muggy, humid weather, which I am not used to, being of good European breeding, dontcha know!!
Poor Dear...perhaps you are being plagued by the same inexplicable migraines as I! I do hope you are feeling better now.
: Yours most *very* delicately,
: (I do wish that Towne Cryer would not *shout* so!!)
Yes, and Miss Paddletale, too! She hasn't stopped squawking about Mohicanland being attacked by pirates since my tea party. I don't know whatever gave her the idea that pirates were loose in our village...unless, of course, it was when she caught sight of me with my apron tied around my head, dragging the butter churn back to my house, and singing "Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of Tea-Keela" at the top of my lungs?
Well, rest up, Dearie, and stop by for a nice chat and some fuu-uuudge when you're feeling better. I must find time to go visit with Miss Gaylee and She-Who-Tracks now, but then that's what life is like when one is a popular hostess, doncha know!
Yours Most Graciously,
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