Posted by Miss Gaylee Cooper on July 30, 1999 at 20:31:50:
In Reply to: helphelphelphelpHELPHELPHELP!! posted by Miss Paddletale on July 30, 1999 at 20:03:20:
: *ack, squack, squawksquawksquawk* Sheriff Twigg, Sheriff Twigg!! Come quick!! There's a turrible racket comin' from out back of Old Crone's place, where all the work's goin' on! I was waddling back towards the pond for a little dunk, when I heerd some awful noises comin' from a BIG hole in the ground! Squawksquawk! QUACK!! *flapflapflap* Hurry UP!! There's some kinda dangerous critter down there, prob'ly waitin' to gobble up anyone that might fall into its lair...like DUCKS, and such!! Come on, Sheriff!! QUACKQUACKQUACK!!! I tell you, it's fearsome!! It's dreadful!!! It's...it's...it's ...*small quack here*...Dweebie????
: WELL HOW THE HECK WAS *I* SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WENT & FELL IN THE HOLE HE WAS DIGGING FOR OLD CRONE'S OUTHOUSE??? Geeze Lew-STEENKING-weeze! Cain't that idjit ever do ANYTHING right??? I'm just goin' HOME, is all!! I'm gettin' too old for this kind of excitement. My ol' tail feathers is about wore out from racing around here, shakin' 'em right and left!! *indignant quack*
: *mutter-quack, mutter-ack, waddle, waddle, waddle...*
Dear mercy me, Miss Paddle Tale, just LOOK at that mess! What do you mean he was digging an outhouse? THERE? He can't put the privy there - that's exactly where I was planning on putting the flower garden - right where it was out of the wind and would get the lovely morning sun. Well! These men just have no sense of propriety at all. They're just going to have to dig their hole somewhere else.
Now, come on with me over to my house, and I'll fix you a cup of nice hot tea, and we'll spend the evening thinking calm and lovely thoughts, and in the morning you'll be just fine. That's it, come along there. Whoops, don't fall into the hole - get on around it on this side - that's right. Now you're all right, aren't you? Yes, yes.
*Outhouse - my foot!*