Re: Request to Sheriff Bent Twigg for a Net

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Posted by Aghast Gnome on September 23, 1999 at 21:14:49:

In Reply to: Re: Request to Sheriff Bent Twigg for a Net posted by Miss Gaylee Cooper on September 23, 1999 at 21:06:22:

: : :
: : : : : Evening, Sheriff Twigg!

: : : : : I was hopin' I'd find you at home this evening, since I have need of a little help. I believe my old hound Hector and I have located Miss Gaylee's kitten, Painter. Not such a kitten any more. No not at all. It's growed about double it's size in the couple of months it's been roamin' free in the woods, but I know it's the same animal, since there's no mistakin' that shredded ear Hector gave it in that foray at Miss Marcia's some time ago.

: : : : : Now, my problem is this - - Hector and I tracked it from the cliffs and down the length of the river and then lost sight of it just as we got to that fine stand of chestnut trees north of town. Hector keeps nosin' around them blackberry bushes near the rocks, but won't go closer than the length of a cat's reach to the edge of the bushes. I think that pussy cat's in there somewhere, and we could probly flush him out right into a good sized net, if'n we worked it right. Can I have the borrow of yer large size fishin' net fer a day or two?

: : : : : She Who Tracks

: : : : FOR GOD'S SAKE SHERRIF GIVE HER THE NET!!! That pussycat's gettin in the way of a real gnomete (pronounced no-may) meal here!!!!!

: : : : Hungry Gnome all in a panic

: : : For heaven's sake, Gnome, stop running up and down the street and shouting and hollering all over the place. Do you want people to think we are plotting something CLANDESTINE here? Ssshhhhh. Besides, I think the cat presents a gnominal risk. He's really a sweetheart when you get to know him.

: : : Miss Gaylee Cooper

: : Well..................okay. As long as that darn cat doesn't present a Gnomeinal risk......I am looking forward to dinner, not looking forward to BEING dinner.

: : Gnome

: Dear Gnome,

: Not to worry. Cats are lazy creatures and seldom pay attention to anything unless it scurries about or makes sudden, jerky movements. Although sometimes they are attracted to small things that creep and rustle. And then again, they tend to be aroused by anything that smells particularly ripe, always being on the lookout for a meal in the wild. But let's keep our focus on the issue at hand - things that flap and flutter. After all, we are not thinking in terms of catmeat soup, are we now?

: Miss Gaylee Cooper

Yuk! Perish the thought! Catmeat soup? Would rather poke a sharp stick in my eye my eye while playing in traffic and stealing the bone from a doberman. Or.....even worse, would rather kiss old crone. And THAT is saying NO in the loudest voice I can think of!

But still in all, those descriptions of what DOES attract, tantalize or salivate a big cat......could.....*GULP* fit me ya know? So I will feel a LOT better, and more hungry, when that critter is in the net and carried away slung on a pole. Sorta a "pole cat" if ya know.....AH HEHEHEHEHE. Another Marcia joke. I made another Marcia type joke!


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