Posted by Gnome on September 29, 1999 at 11:07:10:
In Reply to: Re: Okay, Who's The Wise Guy... posted by Doctor Mary on September 29, 1999 at 10:20:42:
: : : ...who dumped that nasty wet croaker sack on the doorstep of
: : : the Mohicanland Home For The Terminally Bizarre??? Whatever's
: : : in there is flopping around and screeching like a Siamese cat
: : : on a hot plate...and my God in heaven, the SMELL!!! Doctor
: : : M has not smelled anything like it since one of her many
: : : admirers left her a dead elk last July and forgot to tell
: : : her about it!!! Now being endowed with a sense of unquenchable
: : : scientific curiousity, Doctor Mary is sorely tempted to
: : : dissect the thing, whatever it may be. Perhaps a few brisk
: : : whacks with a rifle butt will sedate the poor misbegotten
: : : creature before she commences. I see the return address on
: : : the sack is Sas... Sas Soo something. Can't quite make it
: : : out. And I notice little wee gnome-like footprints all around
: : : the place where it was left. Hmmmmm. Will let all of you
: : : know if I find some sort of vestigial brain on this thing,
: : : but it seems highly unlikely.
: : : Kiss! Kiss!
: : : Doctor M
: : Doc M,
: : Does it look to you like I am wearing a UPS uniform? These are lederhosen thank you very much. I would not, and did not, soil my hands with such a sack of ....well you know. But perhaps that explains the smell, eh?
: : Gnome of Innocence
: Hah! I have it from a high white horse souse that you are
: working part-time for the United Pixie Service!! The
: prosecution rests!!!
: Doctor M
Well, I think you meant source not souse there - but coming from you and the way you knock down the sauce and get soused on a regular basis - I can understand the error on your part.
Now as to this UPS (united pixie service) yes, I admit I do that part time - what is a gnome to do when the parts for his woodcrafting never arrive? He needs to supplement his income somehow ya know. We don't just survive on forest nuts, berries and mushrooms. We got rent to pay too. And iron to buy. Etc.
But I only deliver such things as magic dust, gossomer wing cleaner, new little leathern booties, designer tights, pointy ear booties for winter wear and the like. NEVER would I EVER deal in sacks of xxxx thank you. That one aint MY fault. I say, as someone suggested, you throw it off the bridge.
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