Re: Great LOTM Party...Calling Doctor M

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Posted by Dana S. on October 04, 1999 at 11:13:34:

In Reply to: Re: Great LOTM Party...Calling Doctor M posted by Doctor M on October 04, 1999 at 10:10:49:

: : : Good morning!! I invited my husband to the LOTM party last night. He had not seen the film before. It was lots of fun watching with him until...he shared some of his observations. He informed me he had learned that "Mohican " is plural for "Mohawk" and "Mohicans" is actually a double plural like "all y'all". He also suspects Chingachgook is a name from Star Wars. Doctor M, can you recommend treatment for my husband. He is not terminal, as it was his idea to attend G2K. However, he is obviously suffering from a horrible malady of some sort. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

: : : P.S. It was also his idea to attend The Feast of the Hunter's Moon today. I did apply emergeny treatment...a gag! This is only temporary, however, as he is bigger than I.

: : : P.P.S. I do have sand available to me, if you think it is needed.

: : : Thanks in advance,
: : : Dana

: : Dear Dana,

: : As Doctor M has advised in another post, sometimes it's helpful not to invite hubbies to movies featuring men whose attributes MIGHT make their own look less enticing! However, since the deed is already done, and your husband has shown such a miserable grasp of Mohican facts, we must move on to the subject of how best to help him. I think the only cure at this point in time is to force him to watch the film over and over and over till he gets it right! Of course, you'll have to tie him in a chair and gag him with a roll and a half of duct tape, but that's no biggie. Get him while he's sleeping! Then, you'll have to devote a lot of time to being certain that he stays awake and actually SEES the film, which means YOU will have to watch it over and over and over, yourownself. Do you think you're up to the task???

: : Hope this is helpful!

: : MMMMarcia

: A few rolls of Rooksian Sticky Linen might work even better!
: It's available at the Gnome Dome...think he might have a
: few thousand rolls left in stock. Doctor Mary might also
: be able to dig up some sort of cattle prod from her Toy Box.
: She has found it works wonderfully well for maintaining
: manly attention to crucial plot points, such as when Hawkeye
: bends over to pick up his lacrosse stick.

: Doc M

Thank you, Doctor M and Marcia , for your kind and thoughtful concern! I knew I could count on you! I did, however, remember an old remedy called Celebatium Infinitum. As you may or may not know, this is quite a bitter pill. Just the thouhgt of this pill was enough to cure my husband instantly! And, to make a long story short, I am getting a DVD player! He just can't wait to see the Direcor's Cut! This remedy, by the way, is not as messy as the fish bait thing, and a bit quicker that duct tape.


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