Posted by Marcia on October 07, 1999 at 22:57:24:
In Reply to: explaining... posted by Petra on October 07, 1999 at 22:21:07:
: : Petra, it is not so much WHAT you say as HOW you say it.
: >>> Hmmm .. okay... I see. I know I tend to be quite direct, maybe that's not so good.
I don't have a problem with anyone being "direct," but when you post on this board, or any other, you are posting to REAL people with real feelings, and it never hurts to use a little courtesy with the directness.
: >>> Slowly, dear Marcia, slowly: To be precise, I didn't say the patriotism itself made me throw up, I said that event that I attended and the things that were done there did. It comes pretty close, okay, but doesn't sound quite as categorical, does it? And it's not that I don't understand what I see, it's that I dislike what I see.
That was made pretty evident to me, and at least SOME others here. I don't even want to get started on what's wrong with this whole discussion, and won't be drawn back into it again, except to say that you post very frequently (it seems to me) about things you dislike about this country, and its history. There ARE things that are good about it, too, and it would be refreshing to see you occasionally say something about them.
: >>> But I'm still a pretty happy person. I'm glad that I've been taught to be unpatriotic, and that's what I'm trying to teach to my child too. Like Ilse said: No flag, but happy to be who I am.
I'm glad your state of unpatriotism makes you happy, but I still feel sad for anyone who doesn't feel proud of their homeland, warts and all. As for my statement that I think America is the greatest country on earth supposedly "raising hackles all over the world," I stand by it, completely, hackles or no. And I see no reason why most people the world over wouldn't feel the same way about their own homelands. There is nothing wrong with loving one's country, and saying the pledge of allegiance to it does NOT necessarily mean you are following along blindly, like sheep. Americans have no history of doing such a thing, and I doubt they ever will.
: That's good! The same is true for me. Actually, I've never been upset in the first place about anything here.
Somehow, I never imagined you were. But I'd like to drop the whole subject now, if it's all the same to you. Just know that I will always defend my feelings when anyone, anywhere posts something that comes across as rude or thoughtless, no matter what they may have intended. There is no reason NOT to think a bit about the way things are said, and to be kind in one's approach. A lot of hurt feelings can be avoided by simply using a bit of tact, or, after the fact, offering an apology for any misunderstandings.
Now back to happier thoughts.
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