Posted by Gnome Carabine on October 28, 1999 at 17:02:13:
In Reply to: Re: Black Elk ... Part 2 and Marsha's Ad....& Moving, Pumpkin Fairies, Spellings & North Carolina posted by MMMMarcia on October 28, 1999 at 14:03:29:
: Doc M wrote:
: : Welcome back, MMMM! If you need some sort of in-depth
: : psychological counseling to help you face your household
: : chores, I'm running a Fall Special on my latest series
: : of tapes -- "Never Clean...Just Move!!" and "Voodoo Spells
: : To Turn Your Husband Into A Cleaning Zombie!" I'm sure
: : you'll be hearing from the wee Gnome Carabine before
: : too long. He seems to be pretty jumpy these days, for
: : some unknown reason!
: : Doc M
: Thanks for the welcome, Doc! I would have replied sooner, but I was delayed a tad when I came under attack by a Killer Dust Bunny. The furry little fiend had me trapped behind the couch for an hour and a half! I finally lobbed a couple of rounds of dried orange peelings at him, and then pelted him with bits and pieces of something that looked suspiciously like a dehydrated lizard corpse. He retreated to his lair, and I scuttled out & dashed in here to check the Board. I have the door locked, but I can hear him whining and sniffing and panting around outside it...waiting for a chance to lunge at my throat again, no doubt. Little does he know I have a 55-gallon drum of Lemon Scented Pledge in here with me. When next he and I meet, I'll polish him off completely!!! (Oh, hahahaha...I couldn't resist that one!)
I am SEW glad to see you back MMMMMMarcia! You are about the only one who can semi-control this looney tunes Doc Mary. Please yank on her chain and bring her to heel? She seems to feel that gnomes are for her personal entertainment and adornment.
It was a rather stressful week for the poor widdle gnome. Firstly, there is Doc M trying hard to think of ways to replace my vital organs with cotton batting, and there is Dana S carving pumpkins with my likeness and putting red hats on the darn squash. Most distressing of all was that the piece of wood I had labored long on revealed a flaw which caused it to crack along a shear line, resulting in quickly becoming kindling. I was so disturbed I think I invented several new gnome words of foulness.
After which, I kicked the offending piece of wood about the shop a bit, letting those new words fly time and again. And finally I asked the infamous Lainey, keeper of the matches and firebug extraoardinaire to please toss the darn thing on her bonfire.
*sigh* and now I gotta start all over again. You cannot imagine how hard it is to get any work done when you are looking over your shoulder all the time in fear of gnome-abusers......
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