Posted by Doc M on November 29, 1999 at 10:05:35:
Well damn. I wondered why that mince pie I served at the Clinic
smelled a tad peculiar. Luckily my Thanksgiving clientele are
not particular -- last time I looked they were trying to
eat the centerpiece and stabbing themselves with the forks.
Doctor Mary is shocked! SHOCKED! that Mr. Mann decided to
cut out every single cotton-pickin' one of Doc M's brilliant,
moving, and heart-rending scenes in his new version of LOTM,
which she will henceforth dub Mohican-Lite. Doctor Mary
rising from the middle of the Lacrosse Game like Venus
from the sea...Doctor M performing emergency mouth-to-mouth
on Mr. Poe after his waterfall leap...Doctor M giving Duncan
a hotfoot in the Huron Village...Doctor M real *subtle-like*
shoving Cora off the cliff during the final scene...gone.
All gone. Perfidious little tanned Hollywood weasel!!!
As Doctor M will not be viewing the DVD version anytime soon --
her electric bill is sky-high these days thanks to all the
shock therapy she's had to give lately -- her comment on
the matter is that it's kind of like when your kid comes
home from their first semester at college with their belly-
button pierced, hair dyed purple, and smoking funny-smelling
things in their room. You still love them dearly, but you'll
always love the old version best.
PS MMMMarcia, thank you SEW much for the GnomeCarabine picture --
I now have to replace the upholstery on my chair since I
laughed so hard I had a wee-wee accident, but it's a small
price to pay!
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