Posted by Rich on February 08, 2000 at 12:46:01:
In Reply to: Re: His Cups Runneth Over As Her Brains OOze Out posted by Doc M on February 08, 2000 at 07:19:44:
: : : I must put down my whips and scalpel and don my fedora with the
: : : press pass in the hatband to bring you the latest from the
: : : tawdry underbelly of our beloved Mohicanland...yes, it's
: : : time for MOHICANLAND CONFIDENTIAL!! *insinuationing 1950's
: : : style jazz plays in the background*
: : : It has come to my attention that there is a an outbreak of
: : : pre-vesion in Mohicanland. First our beloved mentor,
: : : Richard, displays a photo of himself wearing pearls, a
: : : dress, and I'm sure sling-back open-toe wedgies as well.
: : : Halloween my Aunt Fanny! I spoke to the Great and Terrible
: : : Elaine, and through choking sobs she confided to yours
: : : truly that her partner in life has changed his name
: : : to Phyllis, and prances around the house saying things
: : : like "Don't go there, girl! Unnhuh!!"
: : : And the infection is spreading!! If it's not bad enough
: : : the forest is infested with a hideous colony of nasty
: : : wee gnomes -- now one of them is wearing his consort's
: : : brassiere and thong bikinis and squeaking, "DO ya think
: : : I'm sexy, DO ya think I'm sexy!!!" In a word, no.
: : : The horror! The horror!
: : : It's not too late, relatively-normal denizens of
: : : Mohicanland! RISE UP!! RISE UP!! We must stamp
: : : this out before it's too late! My Hurons have
: : : massacred the Avon Lady and are sitting around
: : : fussing about retinol-A face creams and painting
: : : their toenails! Mr. Poe is walking around in
: : : a pink chenille bathrobe and hair curlers and
: : : whispering breathily "I'm ready for my close-up,
: : : Mr. Mann!" For King!! For Country!! That's why
: : : we must join this fight!!! Aux Armes, Citoyens!!
: : : Doctor Mary-Winchell
: : Doc, seriously, isn't it time for your bi-weekly frontal lobotomy?
: Don't you have a semi-annual Victoria's Secret Nasty-Underwear
: Sale to attend, Phyl?
Tread lightly, my DEAR! I now have in my possession not one, but TWO, photos of a lady CLAIMING to be you. Courier field reporters are currently investigating their validity. If this pans out, they WILL BE POSTED on the Mohicanland Masses Page!! Viewers BEWARE!!!
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