Re: The Trade Wars Rage On!!!

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Posted by Doc M on February 14, 2000 at 13:47:14:

In Reply to: The Trade Wars Rage On!!! posted by French Trader on February 14, 2000 at 12:36:58:

: Mes amis,
: (Holding cold rag to head) Did anyone get the number of the ox cart that ran over me? My fellow Mohicanites, especially Doc Mary, I would like to warn you all of an injustice played out upon me, the French Trader by no one other the the English trader herself. After being coaxed into a long three day meeting, I fear that I am the victim of foul play and trickery. It all started with a three day meeting planned by the ET no less, and I awake from a forced slumber with many of my ideas, trade goods and even a length of my hair, MISSING!!!!

: Of course ET is long gone and no where in site. All I ask of mes
: amis is that you keep an eye out for this scoundrel, report her where abouts and DO NOT buy any of her ill gotten goods. For many of them , I fear, are mine. (Especially a blonde ponytail)

: Doc Mary, I think I am in need of your care to tend my wounds. I hear your home made Gnomebutter works very good at speeding recovery. Tell me, do you mash the fairy folk first or just drop them in whole before you spin them into this paste?

: Ton ami,
: French Trader (setting by the fire tending my cuts, bumps and bruises)

My petit Frankish Froufrou, you just drag the bod over to
kindly old Doc Mary, and she will be happy to fixee les
booboos nastee pour vous, silver tray. Yes, yes, I know
you're astonished by my lingual acumen...what can I say?
Ees a gift. My supply of Gnome Butter is running low,
as the nasty little ##$@@!!s seem to have headed west.
I have sent a few of my Hurons after them, but so far
they've brought me back a comb, a poem, and a brougham.
They're lovely, eager, muscular fellows, but bless their
hearts, they don't have enough brain power between 'em
to work a 25 watt lightbulb. Luckily, I have a few little
teeny arms and legs left, so into the old Cuisinart
with them! I prefer not to mash the wee folk first, as
it ruins that crunchy munchy texture. As my old Granny
used to say, "If thee ye Gnomie mashe too well/ Surely
ye potion goes to helle."

Now as to your unfortunate premature hair loss, I just
happen to have a lovely blonde scalp that was brought
to me yesterday. Needs a little washie washie, I must
say, but a little gel, a little poufing here and there --

So come-ona my house, beeg boy. The perfidious ET will
be paid back in coin he knows well, damme his eyes!

Doc M

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