Re: The Trade Wars Rage On!!!

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Posted by French Trader on February 16, 2000 at 19:12:53:

In Reply to: Re: The Trade Wars Rage On!!! posted by BillyGnome on February 16, 2000 at 09:56:03:

:But Billygnome,
I`m not sure what exactly has your panties in a wad. I am feeling much better, no matter what Ol` Doc Mary was using on me. No blood was drawn from my scalp (that ET is not only a poor trader, but a poor scalper as well) and my bumps have gone down. That Gnomebutter works miracles. But I drew the line when she told me it was pretty good on toast too. And I figure with the on going feud that you and the Doc have, she will just taunt you and would never hurt her favorite fairy folk. (she also said something about all that gristle would mess up her concoctions)
Now, another day or two in the Doc`s care and I`ll be ready to go after that scoundrel English Trader and return with my goods. I now know she`s up to no good, meeting and drinking with the Turkish Trader. I REALLY do not trust those two.

French Trader

: Doc Mary the Despicable, and Hairless Froggie,

: Oh fine! I turn my back and go out of town for several days and you bozo's are making GNOME BUTTER????? Talking behind my back?
: Doing despicable things to body parts of fairy folk?

: Philistines! I can't find words strong enough to direct at you.
: So.....*whirling so fast and kicking dust and dirt in so many directions he looks like a dust devil* Take that you, you ..
: ah forget it!

: Billygnome

: : : Mes amis,
: : : (Holding cold rag to head) Did anyone get the number of the ox cart that ran over me? My fellow Mohicanites, especially Doc Mary, I would like to warn you all of an injustice played out upon me, the French Trader by no one other the the English trader herself. After being coaxed into a long three day meeting, I fear that I am the victim of foul play and trickery. It all started with a three day meeting planned by the ET no less, and I awake from a forced slumber with many of my ideas, trade goods and even a length of my hair, MISSING!!!!

: : : Of course ET is long gone and no where in site. All I ask of mes
: : : amis is that you keep an eye out for this scoundrel, report her where abouts and DO NOT buy any of her ill gotten goods. For many of them , I fear, are mine. (Especially a blonde ponytail)

: : : Doc Mary, I think I am in need of your care to tend my wounds. I hear your home made Gnomebutter works very good at speeding recovery. Tell me, do you mash the fairy folk first or just drop them in whole before you spin them into this paste?

: : : Ton ami,
: : : French Trader (setting by the fire tending my cuts, bumps and bruises)

: : My petit Frankish Froufrou, you just drag the bod over to
: : kindly old Doc Mary, and she will be happy to fixee les
: : booboos nastee pour vous, silver tray. Yes, yes, I know
: : you're astonished by my lingual acumen...what can I say?
: : Ees a gift. My supply of Gnome Butter is running low,
: : as the nasty little ##$@@!!s seem to have headed west.
: : I have sent a few of my Hurons after them, but so far
: : they've brought me back a comb, a poem, and a brougham.
: : They're lovely, eager, muscular fellows, but bless their
: : hearts, they don't have enough brain power between 'em
: : to work a 25 watt lightbulb. Luckily, I have a few little
: : teeny arms and legs left, so into the old Cuisinart
: : with them! I prefer not to mash the wee folk first, as
: : it ruins that crunchy munchy texture. As my old Granny
: : used to say, "If thee ye Gnomie mashe too well/ Surely
: : ye potion goes to helle."

: : Now as to your unfortunate premature hair loss, I just
: : happen to have a lovely blonde scalp that was brought
: : to me yesterday. Needs a little washie washie, I must
: : say, but a little gel, a little poufing here and there --
: : poifect!

: : So come-ona my house, beeg boy. The perfidious ET will
: : be paid back in coin he knows well, damme his eyes!

: : Doc M

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