Posted by Ann Owl on February 27, 2000 at 13:35:17:
In Reply to: Two Happy Little Bees posted by Bee Muse on February 26, 2000 at 23:44:40:
: Two Happy little bees
: Buzz a cheery little song
: As they flitter down the woodsy trail,
: The birds all sing along.
: Married just this morning,
: They are hoping very soon
: To spot a cozy little place
: To spend their honeymoon
: Suddenly they see it -
: What a perfect kind of hive!
: They circle round about the place
: Then do a graceful dive.
: What a charming hiding place
: With a lovely river view.
: It appears to be deserted.
: It's an old, upturned canoe!
REPORT TO THE COURIER EDITORS
It appears that an unfortunate mix-up took place just after dawn this morning when two honeymooning bees mistook an overturned canoe for an empty hive. Shortly after retiring to her nest in the blazed oak, this reporter was suddenly awakened by the sound of a yowling dog, mingled with frantic shouts and screams, apparently involving several people. Immediately after this disruption, there was a loud crash as of some large object breaking apart, followed by a heavy thud on the riverbank. The pounding of running feet began near the river and progressed up the trail toward the blazed oak, at which point Dweebie Day-Lewis burst out of the shrubbery and raced by, closely pursued by Hector the Hound. Seconds later, Sheriff Benton (Just Call Me Bent) Twigg emerged through the bushes hot on the heels of Dweebie and Hector. It appeared that Dweebie had run afoul of the law and was the object of a manhunt.
The situation was swiftly clarified when a loud buzzing sound was heard, and two angry bees emerged from the woods on the heels of the group. Passing directly beneath the tree, this strange menage continued up the trail that leads to Miss Marcia's house. Blinking rapidly in the morning light, this reporter lifted off as rapidly as possible to follow the action.
Instead of running on by Miss Marcia's house, Dweebie raced up the veranda steps, tore open the screen door, and started inside, at which point Sheriff Twigg screamed "Shut the door before the bees get here!". Dweebie promptly slammed shut the screen door, causing Hector the Hound to smash into it, flattening his entire muzzle and severely damaging the screen. At this point, Sheriff Twigg skidded to an abrupt halt against Hector's rear end, and the two of them went down in a pile of flailing limbs and paws, but rapidly regaining his feet, Sheriff Twigg wrenched the screen door off its hinges, heaved it down the veranda steps, and disappeared into the house. He was followed by the hound, who appeared to have gotten confused and was trying to run backwards.
A muffled shriek was heard amid the thudding of heavy feet, and a series of small crashes traced the progress of the frantically fleeing group through the parlor, the hall and the kitchen area, whence they finally burst out through the back door and flew in different directions through the forest and meadows, halting the efforts at pursuit. The two bees flew up and over the roof, but unable to come to agreement as to which of the fugitives to pursue, settled on an early crocus by the garden path and proceeded to make breakfast. Still somewhat irritable, they refused to be interviewed.
Floating in through the open front door, this reporter then followed the sad trail of muddy feet and broken furniture to the kitchen, where she discovered Miss Marcia, sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, clad in only her morning wrapper, with a rasher of bacon strung over her curlpapers, and gripping a spatula in her hand. Partially scrambled eggs spattered the walls and were dripping from the ceiling, but no other damage was apparent in the kitchen area - the parlor and hallway having taken most of the brunt of the assault. This reporter attempted to interview Miss Marcia, but the distraught lady's responses were not printable in a family-oriented newspaper. It is hoped that some enlightenment will be provided later in the week, when things have settled down.
The whereabouts of Twigg, Day-Lewis and the hound are currently unknown.
Courier Free Lance Reporter
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