Posted by Sheriff Twigg on March 04, 2000 at 20:43:14:
In Reply to: A Puzzlement at Miss Marcia's posted by Miss Marcia on March 04, 2000 at 19:38:27:
: *la, la, la,* *hum, hum*
: "Nuthin' says lovin'
: Like sumthin' from the oven,
: And Miss Marcia says it best!"
: *la, la, la*
: Oh, I just dearly LOVE to fix up a good meal, especially when I know it's going to be gobbled right up by appreciative friends and neighbors. I've got the Stuffed George RoadKill Armadillo on the platter, and the grits' n' grease hot in the bowl, and the smashed taters and creamed corn all a-waitin' for everybody to get seated.
: Y'all come on now and let's eat. Gather round the table, everybody, and let's have a feast! She Who Tracks, could you help me with servin'? If you'll go fetch the main course, I'll pour this fresh lemonade! Thankee kindly, She!
: Here's some for you, Sheriff Twigg...I made it nice and sweet, just like you like it, and...what's that, She? What do you mean you can't find the armadillo...it's a-settin' on the table, right next to those lovely smashed taters!
: Now, here's a glass of lemonade for you, Bee Holder! I do hope you'll enjoy it, as I worked especially hard...what's that, She? What do you mean, "What smashed taters?" They're in that big, blue bowl of mine, between the creamed corn and the honey nut cake from the Bee Holder's Calm Bee Nation. Don't you see it? Oh, goodness! Benton, will you finish pouring the lemonade for me, while I go point She Who Tracks at the food...next thing you know, She won't even be able to find the dadblamed table! Don't know HOW she ever expects to find that there Longue Carabine fella she's always gabbin' about!
: I know you aren't a real domesticated soul, She, but this is ridiculous...everything's laid out right here on the...SHRIIIIIIEEEEK! I've been robbed!! Where's the armadillo? Where's the smashed taters and creamed corn? Where's my big, blue bowl?? Call the neighbors! Call the Food Police! Call the Sheriff! Oh, wait! The Sheriff is HERE!!...BENNN-TON!! Oh, Benton, just lookit this BARE, BARE table...*sniff*...ain't nuthin' left of my delicious DownHome Dinner but some crumbs of honey cake, and a few bits of armadillo shell! What could have happened? Where has it gone??? Oh, me...no dinner at ALL tonight!!! *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
HAH! I know what's goin' on here! By gum, it's those Dutch pranksters at JFC Fast Foods. They must have a late dinner order, and they're rippin' in and out the kitchen doors of the neighborhood puttin' together a menu!
SHE! UNCLE WISCONE! DWEEBIE! Come on - we got work to do. Nobody's goin' to rip off Miss Marcia's dinner and get away with it! Gore Bee, bring the Bee Two Squad! Uncle Wiscone, summon your brothers! She, bring Hector - no forget that, he's outside in the garden barfin' up fudge. Bee Witch, go find Sassy and tell her to get on down to JFC's fast on her carpet ready to fly through on a strafin' job. THIS IS WAR!
(trampling of many feet and slamming of doors as the mighty horde disappears down the trail toward town)
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