Re: Spring and it ain't Gnome Harvest Season dammit!

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Posted by 'An Onlooker' on March 05, 2000 at 23:22:07:

In Reply to: Re: Spring and it ain't Gnome Harvest Season dammit! posted by Lead Gnome (and gnome union steward) on March 05, 2000 at 11:39:21:

: : What a strange year it has become. When cold winds and snow should still be with us, we're having 70*, blue sky days that has convinced even my hyacinths to bloom. The calendar reads March, but the weather is for May.

: : The does have been coming into our mountain pasture to eat the new spring grass, hanging heavy with fawns waiting to be born. The blue birds are out, because the bugs are already out, but a robin hasn't been seen. Very strange indeed.

: : Since my domestic flowers are in full force, I decided to walk into the woods to see if I could locate wildflowers that were already through the ground. The wildflowers and ferns both transplant best just when they are waking up in the spring, and I don't want to miss this years optimum transplant time because of the strange weather. My English Shepard, Kate, went with me to make sure I could find my way home.

: : But the wildflowers aren't as easily fooled as those of domestic strain, and we could find very little evidence of their location. I mention all this, because while on our walk, in one of the most remote areas we visited, my eye was caught by a movement along the edge of vision.

: : At first I thought it to be a red squirrel, or maybe a chipmunk, as both are already out. But then it caught my eye again, and it was too big to be either of these creatures. Kate is a herding dog, not a hunter, so although she was curious, she wasn't overly driven to find out the creatures nature. We walked a little further into the "holler," and another movement caught my eye. When I turned to check it out, I saw a tiny red hat lying on the ground, very close to where the sound and movement had come from. It was then that I knew..... WE HAVE GNOMES! I tried not to show that I recognized their presence, as I don't want to have them move on, at least not until we've had a chance to sample the little creatures.

: : What I'm looking for here is advice. This seems to be the most knowledgeable site on the web for gnomes, and I often read posts where people use them in various ways, but I need details! Do you fill them with buckshot, or live trap them to maintain the most meat? Can they be used as an entre (several, like game hens) or are they more of an hors devours? What medicinal values do they truely have? If anyone can send detailed instructions by e-mail, it would be greatly appreciated. I'll be happy to exchange some plump gnomes for the information, as it appears our mountainside is virtually over run with them. Thanks in advance......YRH

: Okay Gnomes! WE GOTTA ANOTHER ONE TO DEAL WITH! Union Gnomes unite and meet on the square. Right, all 40 of you. We need every foot of ye for this task!

: Right, that's it. Line up. Ready? Reeeeaaaaaaaaadddddddddddy......right foot back.........GO!!!!!

: *40 gnomes go to furiously kicking sending a rain of clods toward YRH's location - the sky darkens with their efforts - the sun blots out from all the clod-like missiles sent this offending person's way.*

: Gnome Dome and Company


OK Gnome dome,

*39* gnomes 'go to furiously kicking...' ! You know darned well that guy of yours, the one that perpetually has his hands in his pockets, doesn't do A STROKE of work!! He leaves it all up to you other poor suckers! Hey! Perhaps it might be an idea to just let the 'human' have him?! After all, it is a case of 'survival of the fittest', considering your small numbers! Give it some thought...

An Onlooker.

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