You Know You're A true LOTM fan when........

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Posted by Adele on March 16, 2000 at 03:14:16:

You know that you are a true LOTM fan when......

1) You persuade your husband to take the family to Dublin on holiday on the pretext of wanting to see the beautiful scenery when really it's because you believe that there is an outside chance of bumping into DDL on the Dublin streets.

2) You pack your husband/wife off to work with the words "Submit d'ye hear.....just stay alive!"

3) After watching the film hundreds of times - you still hold your breath whilst Uncas and Magua are fighting.

4) You find yourself shouting "Wait for your Dad" as Uncas goes haring off to save Alice.

5) You use the DVD Zoom function to look up DDL's loincloth when he falls in the Huron village (yes, Marcia, we all know that you did it!)

6) Your video tape is worn out at the close up of Uncas looking at Alice because you can't watch the film without pausing there for several minutes to sigh and dribble.

7) You wonder how you would sound with a double-barrelled surname (eg Marcia Day-Lewis?!!)

8) You persuade your husband to grow his hair and then stick feathers in it when he isn't looking.

9) You persuade your husband that dressing up in a loincloth and clutching a tomahawk is quite normal roleplay and will do wonders for your sex life.

10) You own the DVD, Widescreen Video, Standard Video, CD, Cassette and Book.

11) You are thinking of getting your chest tattooed (or somewhere else?)

12) When your girlfriend runs off with another man (and a dodgy looking one at that!) the only thing you can think to say is "My compliments sir - take her and get out".

13) You say a prayer for the dead cow before carving up the Sunday roast.

14) When the wife is out you wander around the house with the (specially adapted) broom stick slung over your shoulder, pretending to shoot stuff!

15) You can rewind/fast forward to your favourite spot on the video exactly without the use of the counter, simply because you have had so much practice.

16) You have a highly colourful alter ego!

17) When you barbecue, you think of poor old Duncan.

18) You stare at pretty women on the train in the hopes that one of them will say "What are you looking at?" just so that you can reply "Why I am looking at you Miss".

19) You try and pay for your groceries with wampum and brandy.

20) You are thinking of wintering this year in Can-tuc-ee.

Any more for any more?


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