Re: Ohhhhhhhh Noooooooo!!!!

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Posted by Diana on March 23, 2000 at 13:12:37:

In Reply to: Re: Gathering Gear...of a more personal nature posted by MMMMarcia on March 23, 2000 at 12:00:05:

: : Having read the previous posts regarding the latest survival gear for the upcoming Gathering treks into the wilderness, I applaud the resourcefulness of those who will be modifying the North Carolina climate in miniature using the finest 21st century available technology...and hope that I will be walking (literally) in your footsteps.

: : I am, however, stuck in time, and yesterday completed the last item of my own Gathering Gear...a 1750's boned corset (or "stays", as we ladies genteely refer to them) made to shape one's figure into that perfect Cora silhouette and without which no lady of the period would dare hike off to Ft. William Henry. So, while our modern Mohicanites may be able to boast of their cool composure on the trail, I will, though gleaming profusely, claim reward for excellent posture. (As I mentioned privately to Miss Marcia earlier, my theory for Alice's self-demise is that she threw herself off the cliff not out of love for the fallen Uncas, but because she was unable to face the prospect of having to walk all the way to Magua's village in her stays...)

: : Lady Ann
: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

: Ah, yes, Lady Ann...I see it more clearly now. My impatience with vacant-eyed Alice for throwing herself to her doom, instead of surviving, no matter what occurs, to avenge Uncas & not make his death on her behalf a total waste, has been in error! Yes, I admit it freely! I, Mighty Mohican Mama Marcia, have made an error in judgement (the only one EVER, probably...ha!), and I'm sorry for it! I now know that Alice acted rationally and should be honored most highly as a campaigner for Women's Rights, everywhere. You have convinced me with what shall be known ever more as the "Walk A Mile In My Stays" defense!!

: I salute you, Alice of The Coddled Egg Eyes, for striking a blow for Womanhood everywhere...even if the blow WAS an extremely hard one, and it was YOUR VERY OWN BODY that did the striking. Now I understand and gratefully accept what you sacrificed for me and my friends of the femi-NINE persuasion! Down with corsets everywhere! Long live the Cross-Your-Heart Playtex!

: A Wiser, More Uplifted but Less Restrained, MMMM


Ohhhhhhhhh Noooooooo, more talk of undergarments!!!!! I got to thinkin', OF COURSE, Claybert won't be minding the elevated temperatures since he'll be wearing a dishcloth with strings! And The MacLeod won't be complainin' with his where-with-all flappin' in the breeze skirt. But us ladies of a more modest nature do certainly deserve to be comfortable AND fashionable at the same time. In the unlikely event that our USDP/HHHs were to be tampered with, or heaven forbid, deplete their reserve of mist forming H20 before we reach the falls, I have come up with a back up plan. This most excellent endeavor of perspicacity (see Marcia, use it three times and its yours) involves the replacement of stays, bones, underwire, supports, suspensions, erectors, stabilizers, securements, braces, buttresses, props, and any other rigid "you stay in place now" device with my new "Anti-Suderiferous" stabilizing core. Which when activated at the first signs of perspiration, cools the adjacent body part by means of infusible crygenic technology. Further details will be forthcoming once this invention is perfected (My rats keep getting so frozen....oops, I mean comfortable that they are rendered useless for life - I think this is what must have happened to my ex-husband when I was performing "improvements" on his athletic support equipment). I have a particular interest in this product, since I AIN"T gonna be seen on them cliffs without my "big hair" and I SURE AIN'T gonna be frolicking on no cliffs HALF NECK-IT!

Back to the Lab, *WHERE ARE MY PLIERS?*,
GG#1

P.S. GUYS, please don't take offense at my remarks of your apparrel. I truly cannot wait to trip...oops (Sorry, my Tourette's is acting up again) I mean MEET you guys on the trails!

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